Dad’s and daughters

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selbstgemachtes Weihnachtsgebck probierenNo matter how old she might be, sometimes a girl just needs her dad – Unknown

Of course, mums are always going to have an advantage when it comes to understanding girls. Mothers and daughters usually have a close but complex relationship throughout life. But I want to give dads some encouragement – you can sometimes resonate with your daughter in ways that their mother will envy.

Here’s a theory – I am not sure how well proven this idea is, but it really lines up with my own experience and the experience of many guys. Apparently, many of the genes to do with intelligence and personality are located on the X chromosome. When we have the great fortune to make a daughter, she will get one X chromosome from her mum and one from her dad. But here is the thing – that X chromosome from mum will be a mix of her two X chromosomes, and it includes a fair amount of genetic material that she never actually used in her own brain and personality. But dads only have one X chromosome and we use it all and we pass all of it on to our girls. So the theory goes – our girls will be a mix of mum genes and dad genes, but a girl’s brain will be more like her father’s than her mother’s brain!

I am talking probabilities and subtle differences and, as I say, I am not yet totally convinced how scientific this all is, but dads, you can have a great relationship with your girls. Of course, mums will always have the inside running on understanding the feminine heart of your girls, but I guarantee there will be times when you and your girl really get each other in a way that that just mystifies your wife – especially weird jokes, but more important stuff too.

So dads, step up in parenting your girls. You are probably better at being a dad than you think. And mums, that man of yours, he needs encouraging, so give him a gentle nudge towards his kids. Everyone will benefit when he truly finds his dad-groove.

 

John Cowan, The Parenting Place

Improving and equipping families to thrive.

Read more from John and The Parenting place here.