How to be a long distance grandparent

There is no doubt that, in an ideal world, a family lives close together so that grandparent and grandchild can enjoy a long and loving relationship. However, work and time commitments have meant that many families are now spread across the country, in states so different from one another they could be different countries.

If this is the case for you, you may be worrying that out of sight will be out of mind when it comes to your grandchild. While you are unlikely to forget about them, children have short attention spans and even shorter memories; and you may fear that the distance physically could also become a distance emotionally. Yet there is no need to fret, as there are many things you can say and do that will allow you and your grandchild to interact and enjoy one another’s company despite the miles between you. The key is to learn how to be a long distance grandparent, and alter your behaviour accordingly; so many of those staples of the grandparent-grandchild relationship, such as trips to the park or lazy afternoons enjoy a movie together, are not available to you.

However, there are things that are available, so utilise them. The sooner you establish some form of long distance communication with a grandchild, the easier it will become as the child matures. Establish the pattern early on, and it will last a lifetime.

The first, and most obvious, important point about being a long distance grandparent is to communicate often – be it by telephone, mail or over the Internet. It is important to remember all the little nuances of your grandchild’s life, such as a big math test coming up or a fight with their best friend, as in the next conversation you can reference this – and the bond between you and your grandchild will strengthen. They will quickly see that they are in your thoughts, and over time, may even come to see you as a confidante.

Children love interaction – playing, games, jokes and fun activities are all guaranteed to stimulate a child. Thankfully, there is absolutely no reason why a long distance grandparent cannot indulge in a little play time with a child. While you may not be able to sit down with a board game, take advantage of the technical age. Numerous online messenger services provide a range of games, such as Scrabble and Hangman, which you and your grandchild can play together from opposite ends of the country – all that’s required is a computer and an Internet connection. With these small tools, you can enjoy a Sunday afternoon game of Monopoly just like you would if you and your grandchild lived in the same post code.

Another wonderful way of integrating your day to day life with your grandchild is to send ‘survival packs’ frequently. For example, if your child becomes ill, send a package containing all of the things they may need; chicken soup, a stuffed toy for company and other comforting bits and pieces. Another alternative is to send a pack for the first day of a new school term, maybe containing a pencil case or some stickers. Again, it is all about showing your grandchild that you are there, a constant and reliable presence in their life, despite the difficulties presented by living miles apart. Distance, in the modern era, need be nothing more than a mild inconvenience.