Love is many things, but lasting love takes practice and commitment and effort. These things don’t need to be difficult, in fact a number of regular small gestures add up to a lifetime of wonderful times. Make sure the person you care about knows just how much they mean to you.
To keep love and passion alive, try the following ideas:
Make a decision – even if you are in a grump, or your beloved is going through a difficult time, find something to compliment them on. Even a bit of humour or irony can help improve a dark mood, if it is intended with love. Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing at all – a hug can say ‘I love you,’ ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘I’ll try harder’ or ‘I’m here for you,’ better than any words.
Look at them with love
Have you ever caught your partner gazing at you with love, in an unguarded moment? It feels great, and is as sincere as any compliment. Make time every day to stop and appreciate how your beloved looks – and don’t be afraid to say it. Everyone likes to be appreciated.
Forget the movies
Love and sex —as portrayed in the movies is unrealistic and false. Real love is cleaning your teeth together, cups of tea at midnight and companionable silence. Sometimes it is also raging arguments or unspeakable tenderness. Keep your expectations real – and focus on the person who is actually in front of you, rather than some character, created as part of a fictional story.
Walk in their shoes
In any argument, it is important to check one’s ego. Making decisions from a place of pride, or refusing to compromise is destructive. Take some time to breathe and think about any argument from your partner’s point of view. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is a great way to be more understanding.
Share your needs and feelings with your partner, even when (or especially when!) it makes you feel vulnerable. A healthy relationship should be a safe place and one which teaches both people about themselves and each other. Find time to talk – your partner is there to lend an ear. It may be scary, but it will also make the relationship stronger. Be kind and patient – opening up one’s heart takes time – if at first you don’t understand, try and try again.
A partner is there to share dreams with and chase them.
It is healthy and natural for couples to need some space every so often – an afternoon out with friends, a quiet night reading a book or a day out in nature to think. Some people need more personal time than others – and it has nothing to do with not wanting to be with a partner, it is simply a time to rest and recharge their own souls, so they can be better lovers again.
After a long time together, routine can seem to overtake romance and passion. Remember the little things which light up your lover and start dong them again; that may be spontaneous touch, coming home with their favourite ice cream, a funny or flirty message or going on mini adventures. Love should be fun!