Emotions heighten at Christmas time. Unfortunately it is not always joy, love and laughter. For many this time of year brings added stress, tension, worry, loneliness and despair.
I was a person who loved Christmas and I can’t quite remember when that changed. I think it crept up on me in a subtle way. Never one for planning ahead too much, Christmas Day would be something I looked forward to carrying on from when I was little and had the fresh smelling pine tree decorated at the beginning of December and taken down on twelfth night on the 6th January (which just happens to be my oldest son’s birthday).
Memories of leaving biscuits and a glass of milk for Santa Claus by the fireplace and opening presents in the morning still remain with me and as my children grew up I tried to make it a magical time for them just as I had experienced it.
Over time I have realised that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost in the hustle and bustle of shopping malls, supermarkets, liquor stores and credit cards. No wonder so many people feel desperate and inadequate when they can’t afford to give their children the expensive toys and electronics they see in the stores and ads on TV. Split families compete for the right to have their children on the ‘right’ day, or argue about which place the kids will be, Mum or Dads. Parents of large families can’t possibly hope to give each of their children the gifts that many have come to believe they should have. What has happened here? The sad part is that even though people can’t afford to buy these gifts, expensive food, holidays and clothes, they will put it on a credit card with little hope of paying it off before the next Christmas shopping period rolls around again.
Suicide and depression rear their ugly heads at this time of the year and into January. Families have arguments, too much alcohol is consumed and what should be a time of good will to all men becomes a free for all when emotions break free and take their toll on everyone around. Commercialism abounds, retailers compete for the consumers’ dollars, children sit on Santa’s knee and expound their impossible wish lists. People eat and drink too much, expect too much and spend too much.
For many people Christmas is a time when grief becomes unbearable. Missing loved ones who have died and are no longer around to celebrate seems to become more acute at this time. Grief that you may think you have dealt with can come back in a wave of emotion that can take you by surprise. Desperate loneliness takes pride of place when “absent friends” make their departed presence felt.
For people who live alone and don’t have family to celebrate Christmas with or sit down to a table for lunch or dinner on the 25th December, this day can be miserable. I am not saying that all people feel like this or that all people will be going through any of these feelings or emotions, but please spare a thought for the ones who are. Maybe if we have a think about the people we know spending time alone, or you know of someone who has had a recent bereavement, or an older person living by themselves, or maybe a large family who are struggling, hold out a hand of friendship to them. Invite someone to share dinner, donate something to the family in need, ring a friend who you know is missing a family member or build a bridge with someone you have a strained relationship with.
If we all try to remember that Christmas time should represent joy, peace, goodwill and glad tidings and administer those accordingly perhaps we can re-invent the days of Christmas past when we looked forward to it all year round instead of dreading it.
Keep safe, look after each other and drive carefully. As for me, I’m off to the mall with a long shopping list, credit card burning a hole on my purse, and a feeling of panic rising up in my chest… only joking!!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Glenda
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