Know Oneself

This topic contains 64 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of bobbity bobbity > 7 days ago.

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  • #99386
    Profile photo of Joybel
    Joybel
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    Member since: November 2, 2006
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    What makes you, you? What makes you tick? What makes you the happiest and what upsets you easily. What are your likes and dislikes? Do you go with the flow or do you take stock of how much your life is governed by other peoples dictates. Things like your health, leisure, needs, pleasures, the clothes you wear etc. Have you ever sat down and wondered where you can make changes which will enhance the present way your life is ticking along. Maybe you are satisfied with your lot. For me it was the realisation that I was beginning to become slack about some aspects of my living and bored with the niggly day to day necessities to be a happy housewife getting the chores done. Going on strike and letting things go. Of course, after my motto of don’t put it down, put it away, went haywire and I kept mislaying things, I knew it had to change. I was tired, I thought. Well, why was I tired. I have every comfort, I don’t have work hard or cook a meal if I don’t want to. Back pedal. Could that be it. How often did I bother to cook a meal? Think about it. I did. I am a morning person. By 3pm my body winds down. Staying up late, not enough sleep, because I still woke up early and always woke two or more times with aches or comfort stops. No energy to cook dinner. Lousy excuse, eh. I have changed and now my stews, soups and veges are cooked and prepared after breakfast. Then comes the chores and I am free to come and go as I please and there is more energy to use in fun or what ever I choose. I do a volunary stint, take a carless friend out shopping and a drive or stay and home and do sewing, family history, or what makes me happy. This is the third thread I have started. The other two have not created an interest. Will this one. Did a change in your life style ever improve your capacity to function?

    #99387
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    Belladonna
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    Member since: June 29, 2006
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    In a roundabout way,perhaps. Recently my eldest granddaughter came to live with me,so have gone from a one person household to one adult & one teenager.
    I don’t think this is quite what you meant,but it has created changes.
    It sounds as though the changes you made were necessary due to your body clock – some being more alert & less tired of a morning,while others are night owls.

    #99388
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    booklover
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    Member since: February 8, 2007
    Topics: 48
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    Joybel, good on you girl, you have worked through the problem and made the changes which have enhanced your life. Boy, does life get boring at times, too true. For me I find comfort in reading, being a member of grownups, writing letters to the papers, my friends and family. Housework is a once a week good clean through, except for those things we need to do each day, after suffering a couple of strokes within a short time, having to take lots of meds, I found my life different, used to be up and about, worked etc, all gone now, found other things to replace them though, dont know that this improved my capacity to function, but gave me a better outlook on life, I think its important to relax and enjoy life. cannot say that happens for me all the time, but I try to find things to be grateful for each day, sorry Joybel, probably gone off the topic abit. lol

    #99389
    Profile photo of bobbity
    bobbity
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    Member since: September 14, 2006
    Topics: 38
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    We definitely go through stages don’t we ..there are so many times when i have taken stock and decided that I must upgrade something or other. Keeping a calm heart about everything is very good for everyone, and somewhere it is described as “the life of the fleshly organism” To me that means that if you are calm about everything then you will be keeping stress levels down and that helps everything..
    I find that taking stock and action is an ongoing necessity as we are imperfect and there always must be something that needs seeing to.
    That is great to be able to help others now Joybel..you havr managed your affairs admirably.
    Belladonna..what a change!!
    Booklover, you have a nice attitude about your enforced situation.
    Oprah used to talk about finding things to be grateful for..5 things every day, and at first I thought that might be hard to do every day, but I started writing them down and the things to be grateful for were there popping into my head as easy as.

    #99390
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    trogan
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    Member since: August 1, 2006
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    Great good sometimes comes out of change and somtimes it comes from where you least expect it .10 years ago my son went to Aussie . Unfortunately he was on drugs . 5 years ago I broke my neckand he came home to look after me . Unfortunately he had hpc and I had to look after him. Today he is drug free , HP free , and is on the road to recovery . Isn’t it a good job I broke my neck ? I think so.

    #99391
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    Joybel
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    Member since: November 2, 2006
    Topics: 617
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    Thank you for the input. Yes it is easy to become complacent and let life roll along. Then wham! and an incident brings home to us that, hey, I can do better than this and some of us are able to swim by ourselves while others need a little push or encouragement. This is where family, friends and outside help is waiting for us just to ask. Bless your heart Trogan. I knew you had a heart. Thanks for sharing your story. Your accident sure brought good changes to you and your son. I think he needed something to motivate him to come home and say “You need me dad, and I need you” You provided the opening to bring you together again and what a wonderful opportunity you both took advantage of.

    #99392
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    booklover
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    Member since: February 8, 2007
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    its great sometimes how things work out, out of adversity ,wonderful things can happen. So pleased for you Trogan, and your son. Hi bobbity, love your bright spirit, it shines through all you write. Think now at this stage in life just live for the day, be happy with what I have and leave regrets behind, — life is still full of wonder and surprise, love and laughter, tears, and sadness, but thats life, besides think its good to have a good old cry sometimes, clears the mind.

    #99393
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    Joybel
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    Member since: November 2, 2006
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    Of course, having been widowed for 16 years has been a lesson in survival of the spirit as well as the physical. When I need a job done I want it done now and I say out loud “Husband! where are you I need this fixed”. Just saying his name calms me and I either have a go or get on the phone or computer. I know there is always someone to help and I just have be patient. We all make adjustments when life takes a sudden devastating turn and each of you are showing the resilience that is in us waiting to be sent for. Good one.

    #99394
    Profile photo of bobbity
    bobbity
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    Member since: September 14, 2006
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    (thanks so much Booklover..I never thought of me like that tho’..)

    #99395
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    trogan
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    Joybel , no way would I say ” Wife where’s my dinner ” or some such thing , my ears would be ringing for a week , I might think , I wish you were here to tell me how to do this and a funny thing it seems to get done . Such is the power of suggestion .

    #99396
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    Joybel
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    Will try that one Trojan. When I take my friend out shopping she contacts her guides or Him upstairs as she calls them, letting them know where we are heading and asking if we can pleases have a handy parking space, have always got one too, I have to admit.

    #99397
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    booklover
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    Member since: February 8, 2007
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    that seems to work most times, Joybel. Isnt it great that we can all grow through adversity. I think we rediscover who we are, and just what we can do, if we put our minds to it. Mind you have our down times to, (wellI do), but a few words to the man upstairs, a good talking to myself, usually works wonders.

    #99398
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    shemac
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    Member since: November 19, 2006
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    Flylady.net made all the changes in my house! Works for us!..gave me a reason to get up every day.. I was keen to attack the next level!

    #99399
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    Joybel
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    That is the way get through the curves that life throws at us. We twist and turn in all directions to avoid the obvious with little success at times. A little word upstairs, and with a listening ear we are sometimes able to avoid all that mental overwork. Adversity helps us to grow also and if we learn from the wrong turns to stop and think before we leap it may save some regrets. Good thoughts Booklover.

    #99400
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    Youngforever
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    Member since: June 6, 2007
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    I just love this topic – awesome stuff. As a walking example of turning adversity into an advanage I really like where this topic is going. Small steps get us there. There’s heaps I could say, but I won’t. !

    #99401
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    Youngforever
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    Member since: June 6, 2007
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    Bobbitty you are definitely on to it when you mentioned about Oprah getting people to write down things they are grateful for. This is a great exercise to reinforce that there are things in our lives we should acknowledge and give thanks for. And they don’t have to be big things – little things mean just as much. Things we sometimes take for granted – all of it meaning that our lives are purposeful and rewarding in some way. Saying “thanks” for these things lets more good things come to us.
    I also have another list – delicious daily habits – writing down the things that I do regularly that bring a smile to my face. Sometimes it is doing things for other people – like making my kids laugh each day – that makes me smile too!

    #99402
    Profile photo of bobbity
    bobbity
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    Member since: September 14, 2006
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    I think with the being grateful thing that some people think in general terms, eg.. “I am grateful for my lovely children”..but that is a oncer as one would just be repeating the same thing over to bring it up again. Specifics are needed such as “i am grateful that my daughter was so kind to me today when she…”
    Anne I never would have thought of that so thank you..delicious daily habits that bring a smile to my face…ummm

    #99403
    Profile photo of Youngforever
    Youngforever
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    Member since: June 6, 2007
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    Another daily habit – making a “ritual” of having a cup of tea – getting out the best cup and saucer you have – putting out prettiest table cloth you have, doing your hair and tidying yourself up – and then sitting in the best and most comfortable chair you have – and REALLY enjoying the experience. So doing something nice for yourself because YOU deserve it! If we take these daily pleasures for ourselves as an experience and we make ourselves feel better inside then everyone else around us benefits from our radiance! Good morning everyone!

    #99404
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    Joybel
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    Member since: November 2, 2006
    Topics: 617
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    How spontaneous are you. Do you say yes each time a friend or family member asks for your time or other commitment ?. Would you say no if it seemed like you were being used? We all have friends who never appear to be able to do tasks like taking up or letting down a hem, sewing on a button even or getting to a destination under their own steam even though they are capable. Asking you to come and help clean up the garage or a few cupboards. As long as the hem has been unpicked and the fabric is not black or navy I will say yes. Keeping my own garage and cupboards tidy is enough for me. Some of us are very independent doers and never ask for help while some need the company and encouragement and practical nohow to acheive the simplest tasks. Being humble and accepting help when offered can be most rewarding and a cup of tea and a chat spreads cheer and warmth to the heart. Giving your help as long as it does not mean you end up doing it by youself can be satisfying and re warding too. Spontaneous acts we do without hesitation can contain traps, so instead of saying yes immediately we can ask what exactly it is that is to be done. All things are possible if we are honest with ourselves.

    #99405
    Profile photo of bobbity
    bobbity
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    Member since: September 14, 2006
    Topics: 38
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    ..and to make the tea taste even better use fine bone or English china..it makes a big difference.

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