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Things Found Only in America

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America...
do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Published 19th Jul 2011

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Below are a selection of User Contributed Article related to Joke of the Day.

by Tez 20th July 2011 Lady Driver Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 m.p.h.. He says to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he puts on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices there are five old ladies in the vehicle -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- all but the driver are wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit?", say the surprised driver. "No, sir. I was doing the speed limit exactly -- 22 miles an hour," the old woman says a bit proudly. The police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I let you go, Ma'am,", says the officer, "I have to ask: Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a peep this whole time," says the officer. "Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer," replied the driver. "We just got off Highway 189."
by barr012 20th July 2011 Bill and his father are out fishing and drinking beer while discussing rugby and Nascar. All of a sudden Bill says, "Dad, I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She has'nt spoken to me in over six months." His father, silent for a moment, slowley takes a sip of his beer says, "Son, you better think it over, women like that are hard to find."
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