Login

Forgot your password?
Font size: A- A+
Become a Member FREE

Join around 100,000 monthly visitors and 72,000 members: daily games, discussions, contribute articles, make new friendships, GrownUps-only offers & more...

Register Free Now!
Notices
WIN a Globus California Classics Tour for Two!
WIN a Globus California Classics Tour for Two!
This year you could be taking a $9400 trip for two to California
Soothe Worry & Tension
Soothe Worry & Tension
...while enhancing your libido (men and women)
Sports & Travel Survey
Sports & Travel Survey
Complete the survey and be in to win a $100 Westfield voucher
Let's Chat Over Lunch
Let's Chat Over Lunch
Have a Free Lunch with Metlifecare
Feel All-Bran New
Feel All-Bran New
New Ways to Get Fibre Into Your Day
Win a return journey across Cook Strait
Win a return journey across Cook Strait
See more of New Zealand with Bluebridge
See the Difference
See the Difference
Eyesight Advice from Visique Optometrists
2degrees Offer
2degrees Offer
Making the CDMA switchover easy
Optometry & Eyewear Survey
Optometry & Eyewear Survey
We'd like to find out a little more about your optometry & eyewear preferences
CDMA Phone Network close down 31 July
CDMA Phone Network close down 31 July
Move now & get $79 credit with every Prepaid mobile
Keep up to date with us
Keep up to date with us
Follow our updates, new comps and articles via Facebook and Twitter
List your Classified
List your Classified
House Sitters, Employment, For Sale, Property & Personals
Live Chat
Live Chat
With fellow GrownUps in our multi-room chat
Compare & Purchase Insurance products
Disclaimer: Grown Ups is not an Insurance Broker. We provide product information from recognised Insurance companies. We are not making recommendations and we accept no responsibility for decisions made as a result of using the information provided.'
R50 Sexual Health
R50 Sexual Health
Check out the new section available to everyone.
Recipes
Recipes
Find some delicious recipes by clicking here.
Guide to Retirement Living
Guide to Retirement Living
Get your own copy for free, here.
Columnists

Vote in our Polls

Are you carpeting or re-carpeting a property in the next 6 months?

Category sponsor

Ever Wonder?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Published 6th Sep 2011

print

Advertisement

Advertisement

Article Information
Average Rating: 8
Explore This Topic

This article is part of the Humour & Jokes topic. Click here to read articles, join discussions and more on this topic. Below are the latest articles in this topic.

Discuss This

Click here to start a discussion on this or Click here to read other discussions.

Contribute

Click here to create an article on this topic, or view contributions made by your fellow GrownUps members
All contributions are entered into our regular prize draws!

Below are a selection of User Contributed Article related to Joke of the Day.

by paul064 6th September 2011 Estelle’s dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.' Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!' 'I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!' When the repairman arrived at Estelle's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. A huge brute of thing. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled 'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!' To which the parrot replied, 'Get him Spike!'
Log in to post comments

 

Join GrownUps Free
By becoming a GrownUps member and part of the Community, you gain access to:
  • Enter Competitions
  • Go into regular prize draws
  • Play daily games
  • Join Discussion Groups
  • Find like-minded individuals and create lasting friendships
  • Receive special GrownUps offers and
  • Add you own articles of interest, recipes, pictures for fellow members to read and view.
All for FREE! So why not join now?

Register Now