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Farm Employees
The Department of Labour claimed a South Canterbury farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
Department of Labour employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who has been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
NCDL employee: That's the guy I want to talk to... the mentally challenged one.
Farmer: That would be me.
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Latest comment at 09:47 17 Mar 2012 by Meandog - "CLOWNING"
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by curlywurly 14th June 2011
John Jim and Joe were lost in the Desert. They went round in circles looking for a way out and decided to have a cigarette. Shortly after they could hear counting coming from somewhere. This was driving John crazy and, thinking it must be Jim, pulled out a gun and shot him. John and Joe continued and had another cigarette. Very soon the counting started again and John decided it must have been Joe after all and so he shot him also. John walked on but the counting continued and to end the madness he decided to shoot himself. He would have a last cigarette before he went so he opened his packet and took one out, lit it and then shot himself. The pack fell open on the ground and the words displayed on the inside of the lid said "IT'S THE TOBACCO THAT COUNTS".
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, “I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5 tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun
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It was a mortar attack!!!!!
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