Lindsey Dawson - Those Pesky Flies

Courtesy of Lindsey Dawson.

It’s the time of year for flies and other pesky critters in our homes. But we harbour them in our hearts and minds as well.  Here’s one to beware of, The Fear Fly. Very prevalent in today’s climate (especially now that even Obama is using words like ‘catastrophe’ to describe current or possible conditions) it lurks in the human psyche and is distinguished by a flashing red alarm at its rear end. This irritating pest hums incessantly in the mind, its noise rising to a shriek every time it hears phrases like credit crunch, banking woes, economic turmoil, finance collapse, negative equity, job loss, incipient hyperinflation and diminished returns.  Moments like those are when its light shines most feverishly and its whining voice tends to drive good men and women mad. 

Remedy: As an introduced pest, Fear Flies are susceptible to attack from indigenous Calm Beetles. Fortunately, these useful little beasts regard Fear Flies’ alarm systems as very juicy morsel s and are adept at making swift surprise attacks from behind, ripping off those red lights and devouring them with relish. Deprived of their alarm systems, Fear Flies lose their jitters, forget to be depressed and begin to wonder what the hell they were worrying about.  They then turn into quiet, benign workers in fields of sunflowers, where they can be spotted perched on sunny blooms, smiling hopefully at family and friends as they keep reminding themselves to look on the good side.   

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