Joke: Abbott & Costello Buy A Computer

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
 
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
 
ABBOTT:  Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
 
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
 
ABBOTT: Mac?
 
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
 
ABBOTT:  Your computer?
 
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
 
ABBOTT: Mac?
 
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
 
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
 
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
 
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
 
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
 
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
 
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
 
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
 
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
 
ABBOTT: Office.
 
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
 
ABBOTT: I just did.
 
COSTELLO: You just did what?
 
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
 
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
 
ABBOTT: Yes.
 
COSTELLO: For my office?
 
ABBOTT: Yes.
 
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
 
ABBOTT: Office.
 
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
 
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows
 
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
 
ABBOTT:  Word.
 
COSTELLO: What word?
 
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
 
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
 
ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.
 
COSTELLO: Which word in office for Windows?
 
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
 
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
 
ABBOTT:  Money.
 
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
 
ABBOTT:  Money.
 
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
 
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
 
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
 
ABBOTT: Money.
 
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
 
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
 
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
 
ABBOTT: One copy.
 
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
 
ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
 
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
 
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
 
(A few days later)
 
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
 
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
 
ABBOTT: Click on  'START'............

by Tom King (c) 2004 - Some rights reserved - used by permission

print