Eugene Moreau - Seven Ideas For Moving Beyond Sadness (Part Two)

 Read more articles by Eugene Moreau.

 Read Part One here.

Sadness Became Real and Personal For The Moreau ‘Community’ Last Week

I write this blog post for my family but I make it available to you so that what I say can help those of you who need it…… those who are experiencing the pain of sadness.

Let me start by saying our family suffered a tragic loss just a few days ago. In between the writing of the first article and this one, the second, on the subject of Moving Beyond Sadness, our family has experienced a profound, life changing event. I want to briefly tell you about it and then give you seven ideas for helping you move beyond sadness.

‘How Do We Move Beyond Such Sadness?

Sadness can be like a spear into our hearts and if we let it, that spear can open us up to a whole new world of anguish and fatigue. Sadness, if left unaddressed, can tear our hearts open.

Most people simply don’t know how to consciously move beyond such a deep, profound sadness. In fact, we are taught from an early age to deflect it, avoid it and distract ourselves from it. As we grow up we eventually learn how to hide from it through various forms of evasion. Instead of facing the reality of sadness and the pain that accompanies, we, as a society, tend to run to addictive behaviors that manifest itself in things like food, drugs, shopping, etc., as a way to salve the pain.

We look for ‘quick relief’ from all that ails us. We’re told in our quick fix, pop culture led by personal and life coaching guru’s and ‘home made’ psychologist to “put on a happy face.” Well the brutal and sad truth is many of us simply do not have a happy face. What we have is a mask that hides a deep, lonely and often isolated and isolating pain.

So…not wanting to fall into the trap I’ve just described about being a shallow, quick relief artist, let me give you some ways I’ve experienced before, and currently going through, to help move beyond the sadness we’ve just experienced as a family.

Before I share with you these seven ideas I have for moving beyond sadness, I think it’s important you know these ideas are not stand alone, and by that I mean, they need to come from a strong foundation, a personal belief system.

This is really important. These seven ideas will not work effectively if you do not have a strong foundation, a sound, reliable and healthy belief system for them to exist on.

For me, I have chosen to build my life around the principles found in being a follower of a very real and vibrant Jesus Christ. I’m not referring to a religious system but a foundational belief system.

I tell you this because you will need to have some kind of foundational belief system to anchor these seven ideas on or you will struggle to move beyond the sadness.

Perhaps I’ll write more on this subject at another time but for now, let me give you the seven ideas.

Seven Ideas For Moving Beyond Sadness

• Accept that it’s okay to be sad and to grieve the reason for the sadness.
My wife opened my eyes to power of grieving several years ago. The grieving process serves the simple purpose of giving us time to reflect and find new strength so that we can move beyond sadness. For more on the grieving process simply Google it and you’ll find many comments.

• Express your feelings.
Bottling your emotions inside won’t make them go away and won’t allow you to move forward. Cry, scream or write an angry letter. Don’t mail it, but write it so you can say all the things you want to say. I find writing to be the most therapeutic for me, followed closely by talking about it.

• Evaluate all the elements currently existing in your life.
If there are things that add to your sadness, such as drugs, or alcohol, or food, or a toxic relationship…..well break that cycle and end the pain. It will take time, but you will heal and be better for doing so and in the process the sadness will go away.

• Do something positive for someone else.
I’ve found one of the best ways to overcome sadness is to find someone and do something positive for them. Cook, clean, sit and talk, do some garden work….you get the idea.

• Re-Focus on a Positive Goal or Dream.
Once you’ve grieved the reason for the sadness sit down and write a clear, concise positive 90 day goal with an action plan. Or, write down a statement that describes an inspiring future – like a dream statement.

• Find something that makes you happy and do it.
For example, take in a funny movie or visit an upbeat friend. The attitude that accompanies ‘happy’ is just as contagious as the one that sits with ‘sadness’.

• Make a list everyday of things you’re grateful for.
Make it a rule that you can’t repeat anything from one day to the next. By doing this, you train yourself to search for positive aspects of life rather than focusing on the negative things.

Closure

So, let me close this blog by saying our family is in a season of sadness and we will become stronger as a family, more connected and unified through this sadness. It will not destroy us – it will not break us apart.

To you, the reader of this blog, I say, no matter what you go through in your life, you can overcome it. Remember, sadness is not fatal and neither is it final.

To my beautiful niece and her partner I say, life will go on and your dreams will be reignited and fulfilled and you will experience a ‘fullness of joy’ in time to come. You can move beyond this sadness. You are not alone. You have family.

Until next time……be kind to one another in good times and in bad. Help someone today who is overwhelmed and in a season of sadness and you will start to experience a new level of life, for yourself, when you do.

Eugene

Published 2nd Sep 2009

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