Eugene Moreau - How Can I Forgive What You've Done To Me?

  Read more articles by Eugene Moreau.

Have you ever struggled with forgiving someone? If you answered yes then this ’subscription only series’ is for you. You will find details for subscribing in the closing segment of this post.

INTRODUCTION

• How do you forgive someone who physically abused you when you were a child?

• How do you forgive someone who spread vicious and humiliating lies about you?

• How do you forgive parents who put their own needs and egos way ahead of your basic emotional needs as a child? How do you forgive a parent who left you when you were young?

• How do you forgive someone who has sucked the joy out of your life through his or her negative, hypocritical, phony, lazy, selfish, and ill-tempered behaviour through decades of marriage?

• How do you forgive someone who breaks your trust, and heart, by cheating on you with another person?

 
As you were reading the list above, did you cringe?

Did you have to fight away the memories and possibly the tears? Well, in this series I want to deal with the very sensitive, emotive and daunting subject…forgiveness.

The reason why I’m writing this series is because over the past few months I’ve had several conversations with more than one individual, on the subject of how to move beyond a profound, deep and sometimes brutal hurt.

These people I’ve been talking with have found it difficult to move beyond the pain, and the memory, of the injustice performed against them.

You see, there’s a common theme that runs through the fabric of forgiveness. The people most likely to hurt us are those closest to us, like our partners, friends, siblings and parents.

When the people we love and trust hurt us, whether it’s a lie, betrayal, rejection, abuse or insult, it can be extremely difficult to overcome. Wounds, like these can often result in lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance and can only lead to a life consumed with private pain and suffering.

In fact, and let me be completely blunt…with these wounds inside one is not really living…one is merely existing! But when forgiveness enters and replaces anger, and bitterness, and desire for vengeance…then healing takes place and a new life starts to grow. The future starts to look worthwhile living for again. The sun seems to shine a little brighter and the roses have a deeper colour, look more beautiful, and smell more fragrant.

Living life with the ability to forgive those who have hurt us is a life that is immensely rewarding and fulfilling.

As Tyler Perry says, “When you do forgive, you start walking forward”.

So…how can I forgive you if you’ve hurt me so bad that my world has been rocked beyond description?

Let’s start by first understanding what forgiveness actually means.

What is forgiveness?

In general, to forgive someone is to make a decision to let go of and move beyond resentments and thoughts of payment or revenge and remain free from the thoughts and feelings that bind to the offense committed against you.

I know it sounds like a mouth full, so let me break it down into a few important words: Forgiveness means to ‘let go and move beyond and not expect payment.’

When a person makes the decision to ‘let go’ and ‘move beyond’ any resentment, hurt, bitterness, revenge, and anger, they reduce the power these negative, debilitating feelings have.

Letting go and moving beyond opens the way to live a freer, happier life focused on the present and the future instead of a bound and angry life focused on and consumed with the past.

Some Interesting Evidence

Evidence is mounting that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Researchers at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, New York have recently become interested in studying the effects of being a forgiving person.

They are:

• Lower blood pressure

• Stress reduction

• Less hostility

• Better anger management skills

• Lower heart rate

• Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse

• Fewer depression symptoms

• Fewer anxiety symptoms

• Reduction in chronic pain

• More friendships

• Healthier relationships

• Greater spiritual well-being

• Improved psychological well-being

So, how does a person reach the place where they can forgive someone who has hurt them really bad?

From personal experience I’ve come to understand forgiveness begins with committing to a process of change, and while it can be difficult and take time, it is worth it.

In my case it took me several years to be authentic with myself and truly reach this place of forgiveness. As I said, it’s a process and it takes time.

Sadly we live in an age of instant gratification. Nowadays, it seems like everything’s got to be faster than fast, from Internet speeds to communicating via tweets.

But there’s no such thing as high-speed forgiveness. Forgiveness takes time because it’s a healing process.

You Can Only Get This Series Through Subscription

Over the next several weeks I will be writing about the steps I have learnt that result in being able to forgive someone who has hurt you. I know these steps have worked for me, and maybe they will work for you.

I’m not arrogant enough to say my way is the only way to reach forgiveness, but I am confident in saying that this way does work.

When you subscribe you will receive a professionally designed PDF that you can print. This will allow you to bind and keep as a book when you have the complete series. With each step I will also provide a personal action plan.

There is no cost for the series, but you must subscribe if you want to receive it.

I will cover the following subjects in this series:

1.     It all starts with having an open mind.
2.     The role self-awareness plays in moving on.
3.    Assertiveness…the hidden power in forgiving.
4.    Having confidence to step into a new future.
5.    You cannot forgive without self-esteem and self-worth!
6.    The awesome power of restoration.
7.    Finally… I can move on and live my life again.

Here’s How You Subscribe

So…if you would like to subscribe to this series… and you will only get it by subscription… then simply send me an email (eugene@eugenemoreau.com) and say ‘SUBSCRIBE’ in the Subject box.

Each week you will receive a PDF copy and when the series is finished you will be able to bind them together and have a powerful, life changing book that will help you unlock a fulfilling future through knowing how to forgive someone who has hurt you really bad.

Until next time…
Eugene

Published 12th Nov 2009

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