Agewell: Older People Were Just Like Us Once

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By Mike Milstein

What’s it like to be a teenager who spends a lot of time with older people? Does it affect how you think about them? Does it cause you to think a little differently about yourself and what you might be like when you grow older?

Jarred Coutts is fifteen years of age and a fifth form student at Nayland College. His family moved to Nelson when he was 7 so they could be close to family and friends. Jared is a busy young man who takes extra subjects at school and participates in other activities like club softball and social basketball, as well as something a bit unusual for someone his age, croquet. He’s keeping his options open, but thinks he might become a teacher, an optometrist, a policeman, a professional croquet player, or have something to do with horticulture.

Jarred has some very clear beliefs, including the importance of “getting to know more people, which is a good thing to achieve. You have more fun in life, get a lot of pride and feel better about yourself when you take risks and step out of your comfort zone. Do things for people in your community, not just for yourself. If everyone does their little bit, like helping out other people and being kind to everyone, the whole community gets along a lot better.”

Jarrred is also learning about leadership. He does “little things around school. It’ll eventually lead to me doing something big, hopefully.” He has already attended several youth-environment conferences--one in America and another that he helped plan, in Japan.

Jarred has learned not to “take anything for granted. For example, in New Zealand we have lots of green grass, so what’s the big deal? But, flying over another country and not seeing grass for three hours makes you realize we are lucky to have it.”

Jarred knows how to get along with different age groups. This comes from “being close to family older than me and learning to respect them. I also play croquet with older people.” That experience has taught him a lot more than just how to play the game, which he does very well.. “Hanging around older people gives me people skills. I look up to different people. They have so many attributes. If I can be like them, I’ll be happy.”

Jarred thinks it is unfortunate that many kids aren’t around older people more often. “They don’t understand that older people were like us once. Kids may abuse them or be unkind to them, but they are just as good as we are. We have to realize that.”

Jarred’s advice for younger people is “don’t judge a book by its cover. Get to know people before you judge them. You might really like them even though they don’t look like you or act like you.” His advice for older people, especially those who aren’t around young people much, is to “just talk to them. Smile if you see them in the street. Don’t think everyone is bad or a hooligan. There are lots of good young people out there.”

What does getting older mean for Jarred? “You can’t be afraid of getting older. Try not to worry about it. Enjoy life while you can. You aren’t young forever. Although you have things to look forward to when you are older, you also have things to look forward to now that you can’t or might not be able to do again. Just live life to the full.”

Note: This article was published in The Leader, Nelson, NZ. It summarizes an interview aired on Nelson’s Fresh FM that was conducted by Annie Henry for the Conscious Ageing Network (CAN), which is sponsored by Age Concern, Nelson. If you want to share your thoughts with CAN or wish to know when interviews will be aired, send an email to agewell@xtra.co.nz.

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