Synchronising Sex

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Many couples who are married know the experience of having to sleep next to someone who has no interest in sex. It is disappointing when your partner is snoring next to you while your own desires cannot allow you to sleep even a wink. Mismatched libidos are a problem to many couples and there should be a way of synchronising sex for more fulfilling married lives. It didn't begin like this so what went wrong? A state known to therapists as sexual desire discrepancy: This is a state where one partner does not feel like having sex after sometime of living together. At first you couldn't keep your hands off each other but now you seem like you have fallen out of passion with each other.

During the few first days of sleeping together, the excitement and novelty of discovering each other boosts sexual desire due to the release of high level of hormones. As the relationship advances, the initial infatuation period runs out resulting into normal individual libido levels. People have different levels of sexual desires under normal circumstances. Some are low, medium and some have very high libidos. This does not mean that the levels remain constant throughout a person's life. It might be affected by life experiences from time to time. Things like illness and stress can cause the desire to wax and wane. Synchronising sex is an important exercise even at those low moments in life. Sex is a proved morale booster in many situations.

In long-term relationships, moments of desire discrepancy are unavoidable but if a couple is dedicated in synchronising sex they usually find it easy to work around their differences. The more interested spouse might feel unloved, unwanted or rejected. Couples should understand that it is not always that they feel passionate about each other at the same time. In a recent study, only 50% of happily married couples engage in sex when both spouses are aroused and desirous at the same time.

In an effort to synchronising sex, people should understand the sexual difference between a man and a woman. A psychologist at Case Western Reserve University explains that, if a man is physically and sexually aroused, nothing else can affect his sexual function. He is all ready to have sex. For a woman, she must be emotionally motivated in order to have sexual interest. It is tolerance and understanding that keeps the fire burning in marriage.

Article by Francis K
 

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