The Best Sex Ever - From a Man's Point of View

Article by Tanya Haden Tebb

The Kama Sutra? Venus butterfly position? A Playboy centrefold? Sexy lingerie? Kinky role playing? What would you say if I told you that although definitely enticing *none* of these are what men consider essential ingredients for the best sex ever?

Okay, so I can’t really repeat *that* answer here…but the gist of what many of you are thinking is that I’m out of my mind! A licensed counsellor and international relationship expert should know better than that, right?

A man is definitely turned on by many things. Visually stimulated and easily aroused, many men themselves would probably say that any of those items on the list above would make for great sex. And, they’re right. But, when we’re looking for those elusive secrets that make for not good, not great, but the *best* sex ever…these items don’t even rank in the top 20!

So, what is the main ingredient that makes for irrepressibly, incredibly mind-blowing sex? The answer is: you! You, as a woman, as *his* woman, are the number one ingredient in the world’s best sex.

But, before you say “No duh! I’m a woman; of course that’s what men want.” Let me explain…

Men don’t want the abstraction—sure it titillates and occupies their minds and “free” time—but what men really want, what they really desire, is not some illusion, some technique, some airbrushed co-ed who likes to bake apple pies and play tennis, they want you—their friend, partner, lover, and confidant. And, more than just wanting you, they want you to:

• Love your body

• Feel sexy about yourself

• Be able to express your needs

• Not withhold your love and passion

• Lavish him with special treatment

• Be totally present

• Be willing to indulge in both yours and his fantasies

• And, never make sex a divisive tool, but always allow for it to be a place where you and he “come together.”

When you do these “things,” you become sexier and more irresistible to men than any centrefold, more satisfying than any technique, and more orgasmic than any role you could play. It’s when you and your man connect. It is so much more than just *sex*, it is mind blowing sex, the kind of sex that sends shivers down your spine just thinking about it and leaves you longing for each other...another touch, another embrace. It is most definitely the best sex ever, where you and he connect both on the physical as well as spiritual planes.

When you can love yourself and your body, you become the embodiment of all women to him—you are the sexiest, most gorgeous woman of all time. You are *his* woman!

So no matter how big or small your breasts are, how much cellulite you have, whether you’re old or young, skinny or not-so-much, you are all Woman. You are *his* woman. Yes, it sounds a bit primal, right? But it’s not, because just as equally, when you open yourself up to this kind of love, to this kind of sex, he is *your* man, too. You see, it goes both ways. The more you indulge him, the more he indulges you. The more you love yourself, the more he can love you. The sexier you feel, the sexier he will find you!

Some of you might be thinking the “list seems a bit touchy-feely to me”. “My man would never say these things to me. How could I believe this is what he really wants?” While he may not be able to articulate it, he’s definitely feeling these emotions.

Think about it—wouldn’t you want your man to be all these things for you? Wouldn’t this list of “ingredients” make for the best sex ever if he felt these ways about himself? Of course, so why should it be any different for him?

When you learn to love yourself, feel sexy about yourself, and safe and adored in your relationship, you are giving your man the best sex gift-toy-outfit-treat-experience he could ever want. Give it a try; I’m sure you’ll see what I mean…maybe even tonight!

Published 10th Dec 2008

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