Denise Corlett - Internet Dating: Some Factors To Consider

By Denise Corlett.
Find more articles by Denise here.

The number of people using online dating or online communities to meet others continues to grow.  In the 50 plus community the numbers are significant and are predicted to continue growing.  You are already engaged in the online community and if you are keen to try new methods of meeting potential dates and partners then consider online dating.  There are a number of things to consider if you are new to online dating or are trying it but not having the success you want.  A lot of this information is available in a free downloadable eReport entitled Internet Dating can work! available on www.datingadvice.co.nz. However, to overview some of the information to ensure your safety and success consider these factors.

Clarify your purpose, geographical area and type of person you are seeking

There tend to be 3 key reasons why people are involved in online dating.  To seek a long term committed relationship; to have casual encounters; to have virtual online relationships with someone without necessarily meeting offline.  It’s important for you to define which category you fit into and ensure that your message and marketing and the people you are choosing are in alignment with this.  By doing this, you will be more successful.

It’s also important to determine how far away from your home base you are prepared to reach?  Is it the city you live in, a smaller area within the city or out to larger regions or even offshore?  The opportunities for all these are available on different websites.  Choose this for yourself.

As much as you can, define the characteristics and traits in another person that you believe you would or wouldn’t tolerate and keep your eyes open to these as you review different profiles.

Try different sites and practise your internet dating etiquette

If you are new to internet dating, try out a range of sites to see what works for you.  There are paying and non-paying sites, broad and niche sites, national and international sites.  Often people start with non paying sites first to get used to the experience and lingo then once confident advance to paying sites.  Try these sites to practise sending emails, learning the language and etiquette, writing your profile and changing it, responding to photos.

You have to market yourself

Your image, by way of photos, your screen name and what you say and how you write about yourself in your profile will either draw someone in within a couple of seconds or move them on to the next profile.  You only have a few seconds to get their attention.  So you have to actively invest time in getting quality, recent photo(s) done and putting them up, updating your profile and making your profile stand out.

A warm, friendly, approachable photo of you with a head and shoulders is important.  You can add other photos as well that have shots of you in different scenarios.  Your profile has to highlight the great things about you.  No time for shrinking violets!

Picking up the red flags

As you navigate internet dating you need to become attuned to anything that doesn’t sit right for you.  This is often a sign that something is not right and to be wary.  As with any dating you want to keep yourself safe.  Obviously it is important to not let out any personal information such as your phone number, address, financial or legal information etc.  This is particularly important when you are starting out and getting to know people.  The vast majority of people are trustworthy.  Unfortunately, there are people online who are not like this.  

In addition, be aware of people who want to move too fast, particularly if you are not ready.  Go at the pace that feels right for you.  Keep your eye out for and feel free to question inconsistencies in what a person says and does, (someone works fulltime, but emails and rings you throughout the day) the language someone uses (e.g. inappropriate words) and the way people are dressed (e.g. revealing too much) can give you an insight into what that person is like, if they fit with your values and if some of their presentation and behaviour is a red flag for you.

All in all, online dating can be fun and a great way to meet future companions or a special someone.  Be mindful of what can keep you safe and what can bring success and apply these strategies when dating online.

If you would like more information on dating then review some of the resources and tips on www.datingadvice.co.nz and to download a free eReport entitled "Internet Dating can work!" click here  

For more personalised assistance with online dating contact Denise on 09 521 7449 or on info@datingadvice.co.nz

Published 28th Nov 2008

print