Ron Tustin – If Coaching is the Answer, What is The Question?

 Read more articles from Ron Tustin. For people itchy to make things better

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.

Presently many people I know are going through particular crises, confronted by natural disasters, losses and livelihood, changed relationships and other massive life changes. They have often sought help through counseling and therapy at appropriate times but now may have questions about seeking coaching.

The question I hear most often is, 'Why does coaching work? I don't get it. It is too simple.' I hear this from clients, and people who are new to coaching. It seems that nothing happens except a bit of journaling and brainstorming in many sessions. It doesn't look like the coach invests a lot of effort, but the results are measurable, and there is ample evidence to support the successful approaches to coaching.

These notes are designed to help you understand the fundamentals of coaching. I hope that this brief introduction to coaching may help you determine if coaching is right for you.

Collective Wisdom

The relationship between the coach and you is unique. No other discipline creates a parallel interaction. Most other disciplines use the mentor and the disciple, the teacher and student, the doctor and patient. These all create a pyramid or a vertical relationship. The relationship in the life coaching interaction is even different from sports coaching. There is a two tiered approach to this strategy.

In coaching the coach assumes a relationship position that respects the brilliance and self-preservation instincts. The coach allows you the freedom to build your own development strategy. There may be things wrong in your life, things you want to change. There are also a lot of good things. Some of us are not aware of our strengths, but given the freedom to develop them, we quickly learn that we are stronger and more proactive than we once believed.

The second tier is the collective community among many 'good' coaches. The strategies utilize the wisdom of thousands of masters, and incorporate new strategies and the successful techniques of multiple therapies. This is combined with 'competencies'. A coach does not get accreditation merely by earning their degree. They must prove their skills and abilities.

However coaches do have influence over the coachee. This means that they have the power to effect another person's life through indirect means. They teach people problem solving skills, and help them take a new look at their lives. The ultimate objective is for the person to coach themselves. Coaches themselves are continually coached, learn, and improve. This alters the mindset of a coach. By continually being coached they are less aggressive and authoritative. They possess many of the same skills as their colleagues, but their approach is different.

Developing

This word is used to reflect the coach’s goal of bringing out the possibilities in you. It is a progress, a journey, to cause to grow and increase. A farmer plants a small seed, and it grows into a big plant. But the farmer only planted the seed. The plant grew on its own with help from the farmer and weather. In the same way, coaches plant seeds and then watch that seed grow to make sure it doesn't wither or fade.

The skills learned in coaching will bleed over into other aspects of your life, strengthening your entire being, and creating a balance and sense of wellness. This is because coaching creates a catalyst relationship that accelerates performance. This is done by creating a partnership where you define what needs to be done, when, and how much effort to invest.

The coach wants to help you let go of what you have been doing all your life, and try something different. Instead of healing — think evolution. Instead of coping — think mastery of a skill set that empowers you.

The Session

This explains why it is easier to work with a coach than to change your behaviour by reading books, or by the DIY method. The coach may only brainstorm and it may look like you did most of the work. But the coach is constantly seeding new thoughts and new skills. They are coaxing out new possibilities from within. They are establishing a healthy relationship that you can model in the future.

Coaching is the result of our busy lives. We no longer take time for ourselves. The coach is here to help you take time to improve your life, but also to help you focus and get the most out of the time invested. This is why the coaching session may not always be invested on the goals. Reaching your goals is only half the battle. Developing a strong sense of self worth is needed to keep the momentum flowing — even after the coaching relationship ends.

The Results

The session is about the process, the journey. However, the entire coaching relationship has one focus, the results. To repeat this in non coach language, the goal is to create a sense of wellness and balance, to increase your inner strength, to give you the problem solving skills to succeed, and to help you change destructive behaviour.

The important thing to remember is that coaches are people too. It is important to find one with the mindset you want to develop. Make sure they feel like a friend and are open to your possibilities. This may require a few trial runs, but finding the right life coach is the first step to a better life.

Please contact me at info@rtc.org.nz if you wish to find out more about this article.

"We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present." Marianne Williamson

Ron Tustin
Revive and Thrive Coaching

Read Ron's Blog
www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com
info@rtc.org.nz
Ph 0800 003679

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.