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In the Southern hemisphere where Christmas coincides with our long summer holidays we have so much to consider and we may feel blessed or cursed. We want this time to be fun and exciting, but unfortunately the season often evokes tension and stress. We may spend more money than we have, go overboard and eat too much of the wrong foods and too much alcohol, take on too many tasks, or have problems getting on with others.
The good news is that there are some things we can do to help ourselves…
1. Be Prepared.
We will have a mixture of feelings and emotions at this time. Preparing for this mixture is a sure bet to avoiding the shock and surprise when a myriad of feelings erupt from sometimes the most seemingly innocent of situations. If we think back about what happened in previous years we may be able to do things differently. Even if the stress is only slightly reduced, we have changed something about our lives and our repetitive patterns. The worst feeling is to be stuck doing the same things over and over again that just don't work.
2. Be Realistic.
If we have unresolved issues with our family, they won't magically disappear just because it's Christmas. In fact, the issues are more likely to escalate during the holidays because there's so much pressure to get along, have fun, and be nice. Once again we can look back and learn what's realistic with our family. We don't have to repeat the same unworkable scenario year after year.
3. Get rid of the ‘Shoulds’.
At this time we seem to have a lot of things we ‘should’ do. We feel obligated to do so many things at Christmas. We can reduce our stress by always remembering we have choices. For example, there is no rule book that says we need to be with certain people during the holidays or how long we need to visit them.
4. Change Your Reaction.
Our internal feelings and memories of past Christmases influence how we see these holidays. We can focus on what our beliefs and expectations are about the holidays. Perhaps we can make a list of the things that don't work with the family and ask ourselves how we usually deal with each one. Then, see if we can think of one way to deal with it a little bit differently. By changing our reaction we may be able to change the situation.
5. Create New and Inexpensive Traditions.
Make a list of things we do every year, noting what each item costs. Get creative and transform the list into new traditions that don't break the bank, such as recycling old decorations, doing more Christmas baking and less ‘pre-cooked foods’. There's a lot of ways to create new traditions when our wallets are anything but full.
Remember that it really IS possible to make the holidays about love and connection. Just by thinking about the season a little bit differently and taking some new actions we will be able to make this a holiday season of fond memories!
I look forward to speaking to you in 2013.
"The safest principle through life, instead of reforming others, is to set about perfecting yourself." – B. R. Haydon, 1786-1846
Please tell me what you think or if you would like more information on this topic please contact me here.
Ron Tustin
Revive and Thrive Coaching, Professional Coach, member of International Coach Federation.
Read Ron's Blog
www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com
info@rtc.org.nz
Ph 0800 003679
Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.
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