I have just joined this site and was wondering if there are any other grandparents raising thier grandchildren here.We have been raising our 2 grandchildren since they were 5 and 10.Our grandson unfortunately came with a lot of problems and has been diagnosed post traumatic stress disorder and an anxiety diorder.He got in a lot of trouble at school and was in trouble with the police a number of times but at 17 we are hoping he is now over these problems.My granddaughter is just the opposite and is a delight to have in our lives.She does well at school and loves gymnastics.She has a rat and 2 mice as pets and as we also have a Jack Russel terrier you can imagine at times the house is in turmoil.I will leave it there and add on later.I am looking forward to hearing from you and hope we can get a good discussion going.

Sorry I don't have anything to offer. I think it stinks that WINZ will financially support strangers looking after children (Not that they don't deserve it) but not grandparents that give such loving care often in difficult circumstances.

I may be wrong but I understand this is the case according to what I have seen reported.

Hi Chris. Just joined. Very interesting to see no other grandparents have replied to your letter. There are over 10,000 grand children being cared for by grandparents in NZ!
I am in the process of gaining custody to my twin 7 year old grand daughters. I joined the the GRG Organisation yesterday & am getting a huge amount of info & support from them. www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz
I have been very active in my grand childrens lifes & 18mths ago initiated their father taking over their care, hoping that would solve the problems. Unfortunately, he has decided he wants his own life back so rather than let them go back into a high risk situation again I am attempting to get custody BEFORE they are abused.
It seems to be the rule to wait till the kids get abused or worse before anyone takes action in NZ. Maybe that's why we can't stop the cycle & our statistics for child abuse consistently grow.
Would be interested in hearing more from you.
best wishes

Hi folks, I am about to gain custody of my 21 month old grandson.( WHo hardly knows me) I am on my own and wondering if any members can give me some idea of what I might need to expect or watch out for in the 'separation anxiety' area.

Depends on what he went through before coming to you nanny dee. If there was abuse my experience is:
a) he may avoid contact, go into isolation (hide & I wont get hurt)
b) cling & be over demonstrative (beg to be loved)
Both solved with lots of love & time.

If no abuse, could keep looking for his parents so shows bewilderment a lot. Lots of talking & cuddles showing photos of parents. I'm a great believer of showing photos IF the relationship was a loving one as he bonds quicker with you knowing you love the people he loves.

At 21 mths the behaviour patterns of a child are not set so you have plenty of time to instill love & security. It's amazing how quickly kids can adapt & forget. Good luck More help available from www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz

A neighbour of ours adopted one of her grand-daughters at the tiny baby age because the babies mother (18 year old) decided she'd have a much more interesting life running off with some guy who was sailing a yacht over to Europe.

After 20 months she came back pregnant again, but decided to stick around for this child. It is so sad though that the little brother and sister are growing up in separate homes with different `mums'.

You people are amazing. I can't believe that you don't get any help from WINZ.

Hi folks,
I have posted just recently about being granted a full parenting order for my 21 month old grandson ( ie custody).
WOW I had forgotten how a 2 yr old can drain you and test your patience.( My own youngest child is now 19 so its been a few years).
My g,son and I are getting to know each other and I am trying to set some boundaries, but giving him plenty of praise and love and cuddles.
The other day I found myself sitting with him , playing and cuddling and talking almost all day .
He is a bright wee boy, I gave him a Tupperware Shape-o toy and a board puzzle of coloured shapes- within 2 days he could put all the board puzzle together (9 pieces) and recognised 2 of the Shape-O shapes and the holes.
Its only been just over a week and I am taking it in small steps.
Thank goodness for the internet though, so I can look for ways to change some behaviours.:-)
We have had days though where its been really draining and I find it hard to stay in control , but it is all over in a short time and I manage to distract him and we set off on another 'train' of play.