How do I deal with this. ? A man who is 87 is a close friend finds he has to go to a resthome or 24 hr care.
The Health nurses want him to go to a 24 resthome facility and frankly I think he's been bullied or used as a ping pong ball - I'm not sure which.
Legally the man can make up his own mind.
Now this is a dilema for me.
I am 52 much younger. Not experienced with hospital health boards or private resthome sections.
On one hand, a resthome with a homely attmosphere promises the man independence and more personal care than a public health board who seems to set up their patients as "Tin Soldier" into a regimented lifestyle so they can wait to die.
I have heard nothing but complaints about the approved 24 hr care facility but I have heard nothing but compliments about this said resthome.
The other a very honest person who owns a resthome that is not approved by the healthboard.
How do I determine whats best?

Fact. I see. 24 resthomes charge out
$2,000 per week each person
Rest home facility half this amount
$1,000 per week.(has 3 registered nurses and 1 person on 24 hr call)

Who benefits the most?
Are the well meaning nursing staff being lied to, who benefits if they are?

I may be opening up a can of worms but I really need to know the facts about both types of facilities.

well PrancingJean i dont know what area you live in ,but i have an aunt who i manage her affairs,and the most one pays for in a resthome is 600 plus per week govt tops up the rest.i have been very happy where my aunt has gone as i know she is looked after really well,and they keep me informed with everything.if you are paying you have to pay for drs bill etc on top of that fee i mentioned. you need to get intouch with the district area health board and they can tell you how much the set fee is for that area of resthomes.
theres a lot of homehelp he can have if he wants to stay at home,,,theres lots to consider for him really...does he own his own home? i kept my aunt at her own home till i just couldnt manage anymore really,was cookin shopping cleaning drs visits etc and still had a husband to come home to,so there is lots to consider here for him. the rest homes are 24 hours care. cant see why he would want topay 2000 per week ,he would still have all his freedomin a resthome...hope this helps from pearly

How did you go with this? Unfortunately, I've only just found the thread and could have helped as I went through this with my mum.

PrancingJean,
Your concern for your friend is commendable but...are you party to all the information and decision making as to why your friend needs to go into care?
Does he have family/Welfare Guardian/Enduring Power of Attorney for Personal Care & Welfare who can help him make these decisions?
(Though you say legally he can make up his own mind which suggests the EPOA has not been enacted).
If a health board has not approved a resthome, there will be reasons why, whether it be issues with the facilities and/or care and/or written policies and procedures not in place. Could be anything.
Can you clarify the difference between the 24hr care facility you're mentioning and the resthome?

Working with elderly and infirm in my area, it becomes apparent that when the client makes up their mind to go into care they are happiest. Supportive and positive friends works wonders. No negatives!!

Within a few days their faces fill out because of the regular meals, they are stimulated because of staff coming and going, their old neighbourhood mates are often already in there and finally, not one of them has regretted the move and likely lives longer with a better quality of life and care. They are not imprisoned but can come and go as they like.

Be supportive when your old mate goes into the home; visit regularly and LISTEN to this man's conversations rather than think that when you visit you have to dominate because you are the only one with anything going on.

You will likely be very pleasantly surprised and if there is a minor upset you may find that you can speak to the head nurse or manager in a kind way and have any problem sorted.

My 93 year old Dad has been in a home for two years and there is no way that he would leave, this is now his home. He made the decision and realised after he was under their care just how much he had not been coping alone.

As you said, you are 52 years younger and know nothing about the subject - Fears are normal for all concerned but please don't let them stand in the way of him having a happier calmer and more dignified life with few or no worries.