I am sorry for your suffering mad cow...........Your torturers will not go unpunished..................I shudder for what they will face on judgement day. Jesus said "As you do it unto the least of my brethren you do it unto me." What was done to you He suffered.
Meantime you have suffered imensely at the hands of those you should have been able to trust. They were not Christian. They were imposters ruled by satan.
Joybel and Loyal you have written well and THERE MUST BE SCREENING of the people in these places.
Madcow I implore you to seek healing. Tell your story. There are many who will stand alongside you, support and help you, but you need to ask.

I know three women who were in foster homes and Institutions from a tender age. Two were 18 before being sent out into the world to make a life for themselves, and they were successful in their endeavors. Only one of them married and raised a happy family.

The other went home to her father where she looked after him and her handicapped brother. She remained close to the church and never married.The third one went from foster homes to IHC. She is dyslexic and was never given the chance to learn to read or write. Now she lives with a husband and is teaching herself to play the cello. She has spoken of the dreadful abuse she endured.

Church means nothing to her as there was no God looking after her back then. I would not dream of loading Christianity on her as she is doing fine as she is and there is not a mean bone in her body.

Mad Cow you need to seek help.

Terrible things have been done to you in the past but hating every Christian for what someone purporting to be a Christian did to you is ludicrous.

The person(s) who hurt you hasn't spent their lives worrying about you or feeling guilty over their actions and yet, years later, you are still being eaten up with hatred and misery. By keeping this hatred inside you are keeping your suffering going.

It's time to heal; time to get help for yourself.

What people need to remember is that God's church is the individual person, not the building called a church.