Oh dear!!!! I'm a Sallie H.... Now that's a little disappointing!

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas Day is on a Friday this year."

Mick says, 'Lets hope it's not the 13th!'

Sign on a Septic Tank Truck.

"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels".

Hallelujah, we're healed....


GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WERE WATCHING A RELIGIOUS HEALING PROGRAM ON TV. THE EVANGELIST CALLED TO ALL WHO WANTED TO BE HEALED, TO PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON THE BODY PART THEY WANTED HEALED.

GRANDMA HOBBLED TO THE TV AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HER ARTHRITIC HIP.
GRANDPA MADE HIS WAY TO THE SET AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HIS CROTCH.

GRANDMA LOOKED AT HIM WITH DISGUST . "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU OLD COOT......THE PURPOSE OF THIS PROGRAM IS TO HEAL THE SICK, NOT RAISE THE DEAD."

Oi Squirter!

You have just dashed all of Mrs Bryan's dreams!!

*Phone rings, woman answers.*

The pervert, with heavy breathing, says,

"Have you got a tight unshaven t***?"

Woman replies,

"Yes, he's watching television. Who shall I say is calling?"

Oi,.

Not only Mrs. Bryans ole horse.

I'll find something and post it.

Cheers.

Sign on Another Septic Tank Truck.

"Caution - this Truck is Full of Political Promises!"

MAKING IT STIFF!

"This contains
Adult material!
Read it, Delete it,
But don't give
Me Crap
About it"

To make it Stand,
You Wet it !
To make it Wet,
You Suck it !
To make it Stiff,
You Lick it !
To Get It In,
You Push it!
Damn!!!!
Threading a Needle when you're AN OLD FART is a Bitch.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A. Any way you want, concrete floors are hard to crack!!!

Found this on my 50++ daughters face book page.

"Damn who put these games on here i need to sleep but im crashing planes on flight control letting zombies eat my brains on plants and zombies and trying to kill some poor beggar on the jungle one cos i keep sending him into the ocean or smashing his head off in tunnels..... oh but it is fun.... going to sleep now"

Hard to believe she is a grandma, but her Grandies love her to bits.

HAVVA LAUGH.

With Rodney Carrington and "Dear Penis"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4HpPa8F6Zk&feature=fvsr

Cheers.