Dear Nawson, you poor thing. It's so fresh for you and I know exactly how you're feeling. It must be almost two years now since my baby left and I started this thread. He's engaged to be married now and I pat myself on the back for doing a good job. At almost 21 he's had a stable relationship with his partner for four years and is assistant manager at his work, with an excellent work history. I made him strong and independant. I raised him and his brother alone and did a damn fine job. His brother, 31 now, was the youngest buyer ever promoted in the company he's been with since school and uni, and he met his wife at age 18.
Yes, I did what I set out to do. Raise well balanced stable individuals. I didn't want them to have the unstable life I had. I succeeded. They're happy. My older daughters are happy and settled too. It's all good.

The pain of separation is natural and without a husband, I had no one close to cluck over. It was hard to adjust, but we do. It took me about six months to stop feeling so empty.

And you will too. Cluck over anyone who'll let you, play Abba and dance, invite your friends around more often and visit them more. I gather from your input that you have a partner, so make the most of that, you lucky girl. Feed and hug him and if that's not enough, feed and hug everyone else too!

Failing that, get a parrot and teach it to talk to you.

I would be lost without my baby bird, Kiki the Conure. He's 10 years old now and should live for another 17-20 years. Ummm... I'll be 78 or so by then and should have all the folk in the resthome to cluck over!!!

My thoughts are with you and I'm here for you to cluck over if you ever feel the need. Lets face it, we're just a couple of broody hens. But needy of attention ourselves sometimes too.

I've developed this wicked way of getting them around for meals. Because they spend their birthday dinners with their partners, I've started inviting them around for Father's Day and Dad's birthday BBQ's etc. They can't get out of it, and yes, I've been divorced 19 years now, but the ex and I are buddies... NOW. He loves it because he gets to see them too. I'm onto a good thing!
Take care and remember the emptiness will fade. You'll discover new things to gradually fill the hollow within.
Annie 'The Snipe'

Hi TheSnipe, thanks for your comforting words. We dropped her off in town over the long weekend and it broke my heart to see the lonely little figure growing smaller and smaller as she walked off. Then I realised I was putting all my unresolved loneliness and feeling unwanted sh*t onto her! I was seeing myself in her, and she's nothing like me. Godawful case of transference. Can't help it.
She's a boss too, in both her jobs. Low wages though, of course. She'd probably get paid more in Australia
She grew up well in spite of us. We were rubbish parents in many ways.

Don't put yourself down, my girl! You obviously did a lot right, she sounds like a top 10% person to me.
We do tend to pour too much of ourselves into our children, which is why we feel so much grief when they leave. One day you'll wake up and realise... It's all about you now! The restraints the kids created on your behaviour and time no longer exist. You're free to reinvent yourself and you're obviously a smart cookie, so the possiblities are endless.
None of us ever get enough love and attention, because most people are too busy feeling deprived themselves, and that deprivation creates a negative block that others sense and react to. I know from experience, when I feel I needy, people avoid me.

The truth is, we're all searching for love, and we're drawn to people who make US feel special, wanted and important. It makes us stronger and better able to cope. I try to make everyone feel that way because it has an amazing chain reaction on others and never fails to make me feel good too
Share the love
Annie