Are we afraid of doing well?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? – Marianne Williamson from ‘A Return to Love’

Our fear of success

There are a variety of reasons why we do not achieve what we set out to achieve. In some instances it may be because we have not prepared well enough but it may be because we are actually afraid of being successful and this fear prevents us from achieving our goals. This is what is sometimes referred to as our ‘limiting beliefs’. This fear of success can be just as immobilising as the fear of failure.

Consequently, many of us prefer to continue with things just as they are rather than experience even the slightest change and the possible discomfort that might result. Change may toss us into new adventures and this may mean having to move outside our comfort zone and be challenged by new situations and people.

How we sabotage our success

If for example, we have to prepare for an interview, meeting or presentation we may find ourselves doing one of the following:

• lose the motivation to commit ourselves to what is ahead
• be reluctant to take on new responsibilities
• get upset if we feel that they are being criticised in some way.
• tend to be pessimistic
• put off projects or neglect duties, preferring to deal with non-essentials or trivia
• talk a lot but take little or no action
• drink too much or go to bed late

What we can do about it

A good start is to identify the areas of our lives where we may be afraid of success. We should write them down and then for each situation ask these questions:

1. What do I think will happen if I achieve success here?
2. In what ways do I feel I don’t deserve success here?
3. What are my greatest concerns if I should succeed in this area?
4. How motivated am I to struggle for success in this area?
5. In what ways do I sabotage success?

Then here are some suggested actions:

• What will I do to start moving towards a scenario in my life to enjoy being successful?
• What steps could I take in the coming week?
• Remember that nothing changes until we start taking actions. Don’t forget to reward yourself from time to time and perhaps tell someone you trust what you are doing. It is often difficult tackling such big issues alone and if you have a friend or colleague alongside you who will support and encourage, you will be that much more motivated.

“Come to the edge,” he said. They said: “We are afraid.” “Come to the edge,” he said. They came. He pushed them …. and they flew. – Guillaume Apollinaire

By Ron Trustin

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.

Read more articles from Ron here.
Revive and Thrive Coaching
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