How to help a grieving loved one

Grief is an incredibly powerful emotion that can arise in many different shapes, forms and intensities. Whether it’s the death of a lifelong partner, a messy divorce or even the loss of a beloved pet, the bereaved struggle with an onslaught of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt and depression. Feeling alone and isolated is a common symptom, which means it’s important to offer support and do everything you can to help them through the grieving process. Here are a few tips on how to navigate this hurdle and keep your nearest and dearest afloat during their time of need:

Ask like you mean it

All too often, people who are grieving attempt to bottle up their emotions and hide their despair from those around them. A genuine expression of care and concern can help a friend or family member to open up about their grief and share their emotions. Remember, don’t ask if you’re not willing to receive a lengthy or emotional reply. There’s nothing worse than encouraging someone to speak openly, only to respond by acting awkward or distant.

Listen

It may sound cliché, but often simply offering to listen can be an incredibly helpful way to guide someone through their grieving process. People who are bereaved often feel the urge to tell their story over and over again until it seems real, so be patient and show compassion.

Offer token support

If your friend or family member simply isn’t ready to openly talk about their grief yet, try offering small yet powerful tokens of support. This can be anything from a squeeze of the hand or a warm-hearted hug, to a quick text or email to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Ask and personalise

Sometimes the best way to help a grieving friend or family member is simply to ask. They might say they’re fine and there’s nothing you can do to help, or they could seize the opportunity and put you to work. It may be something personal like helping sort through their loved one’s possessions or planning a funeral, or it could be as simple as dropping off the kids at school or sitting down for a cup of tea.

Be brave and open-hearted

As an observer, it can be easy to let fears about saying or doing the wrong thing stop you from taking a hands-on approach to the grieving process. Don’t let these fears hold you back from reaching out as it’s important to show your bereaved loved one that you care.

Encourage professional support

Professional grief counsellors can make a world of difference to someone who is struggling through the bereavement process. While “talking to a stranger” can seem daunting at first, experts are equipped with the insight to truly help individuals through their loss.

Be compassionate and forgiving

Grieving can be an immensely painful process and as an anchor it’s important to understand that it can often trigger extreme behaviours and emotions. They may lash out at loved ones, slip into a dark mood or act out of character. Try not to take these reactions personally and understand that the grieving process is complicated and that everyone will deal with it in their own unique way.