Manners matter

“Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.” Margaret Walker

I remember a meal I had in British Columbia once. I joined a large Canadian family for dinner.  At first, I did not notice, but then it struck me – the constant round of “Please”, “Thank you”, “You’re welcome” – an automatic level of politeness that was very foreign to me as a Kiwi.  I was not the only guest at the meal – their teenage daughter had invited her new boyfriend too.  So, for him, it was the nerve-wracking ordeal of meeting her parents for the first time; and, as he cut his food, his plate shattered.  Gravy, meat, vegetables – all onto the table.  If this had been happening to me, I would have died, and so would my girlfriend, and the parents as well.  In fact, the whole table would have keeled over, stone dead from embarrassment. But Canadian super-manners kicked in.  “Oh don’t worry about that – the dishwasher does that to the plates.”  I am sure it doesn’t, but there was just a swirl of good-natured reassurance, they laughed it off, the boy handled it just fine, his food was replaced in a moment, and there was not a single corpse anywhere.  Man, I was impressed.

Etiquette is not just old-fashioned snobbery.  If you give your kids good manners, they will know how to handle almost any situation.  Knowing what to do, knowing how to make a request, knowing how to show kindness and respect – fantastic life skills.

John Cowan – The Parenting Place

Read more from John and The Parenting place here.