Read more from Eva-Maria here.
Today I’d like to throw in a couple of points for raising teenage grandchildren today… keep in mind that these can also really help any relatives, or caregivers too!
1. Play it as simple as you can – no fancy parenting shenanigans from books needed. “I love you” is all it takes to confuse and make a screaming, yelling, tantrum teen think about the impact of their actions/tone of voice on you.
2. Get them involved in your world. My grandma taught me how to apply eyeliner in one stroke – a simple trick she knew, but I swear it still amazes my girl friends even to this day! Among other things, I really loved it when she taught me how to knit, paint, and especially how she can probably feed an entire army from leftovers in the fridge. That was super cool!
3. Share your stories. Hearing ‘back in the day’ stuff just does something really cool – it makes us feel a bit more grateful about today’s world, and a bit more sympathetic and open to the world our grandparents experienced. I LOVE it when my grandparents tell us about the war, and their parents. That is SO AWESOME!
4. Don’t feel discouraged – feel encouraged! You have a lot to teach us, and we may sometimes forget it…sometimes because we don’t have much time to hear you out. Share as much as you can – whenever there’s a dinner, a second of silence, anything – we need to keep learning from you, even if we don’t admit it – the only way we can go forward in the future is if we’re educated enough about the past to repeat the good things, and avoid the mistakes. We appreciate and want to learn from you, even if you don’t know what Bebo is : )
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Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust
Last week in Auckland I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting a very inspiring lady, Diane.
She set up the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust in New Zealand after pin pointing the great demand and need for extra support for grandparents who are raising grandchildren on their own, due to family difficulties, and other issues.
An admirable initiative, this is THE place to be for grandparents raising grandchildren, or even for grandparents to simply find support among others like them to bring bright, loved and caring individuals within our children into the world!
I strongly suggest you look it up, and add your support, kind words, or even join with this great community!
www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz
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Happy Grandparenting! 🙂
Eva-Maria
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Beauty - 15 years ago
I have to agree re Grandparents and Diane as well as the area co-ordinators… they are tireless workers.
GRG were my lifeline three years ago when my daughter was hospitalised (mental illness) and my grandson placed in Foster care. As they lived on Queensland’s Gold Coast I was dealing with another country, different rules, very limited budget and Qld does not respect mental illness nor have committment to family involvement regarding children in foster Care.
Once Australian Child Protection Services had my grandson in care they wanted to make it permanent (until age 18yrs) end of story. No therapy for this little 3 year old even though his physical, social and emotional development was retarded (due to living with his mother illness) as assessed by their experts!
It took almost a year to get him and his Mum to New Zealand, then a further 12 months in my care while his mother stabilised and proved her parenting skills to NZ Cyfs.
Thanks to GRG I managed to hang in there and the results speak for themselves. My grandson caught up very quickly and his mother is doing a marvelous job with him. He has a few issues with social interaction but many children have that problem without having been through the trauma he suffered in his early years. It was two years of hard work but I am so grateful for the support I received and that I was able to save this little boys life as Foster Care was not a good experience for him.