If you are easily offended, it might be best to skip some of these, but others will appreciate a bit of bad-taste humour…
Son: “Dad, we’re learning about prisms at school. They’re fascinating.”
Dad: “That’s good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you’re bound to end up in one.”
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off!
Paddy caught his wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says “Don’t laugh, you’re next!!”
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says “Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too.”
Mick agrees “I’m ordering one right now”
Three weeks later Paddy says to Mick, “has your woman turned up yet?”
“No” said Mick, “but it shouldn’t be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks, “I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?”
The doctor replies “Yes, but you will have to be a little patient”.
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i” rather than “I’ve just buggered a 14 year old escort”.
The police still haven’t seen the funny side, my lap top’s been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.