Joke – Real headlines

The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these is absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out:
– Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
– Miners Refuse to Work after Death
– Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
– Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
– Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
– Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
– Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
– Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
– Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
– Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
– Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
– Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
– British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
– Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
– Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
– Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
– War Dims Hope for Peace
– Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
– Deer Kill 17,000
– Stolen Painting Found by Tree
– Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
– Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
– Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
– Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
– New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
– Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
– Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
– Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
– Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
– Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
– New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
– Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
– Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
– Eye Drops Off Shelf