Joke: My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress

My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn’t open his bill.

In a hospital:
– do you have any problems with you ears or nose?
– Yes, doc?
– They hurt?
– No, they impede when I’m trying to put on a sweater.

– Doc, we have lost our patient.
– What happened?
– He recovered.

– Doctor, this bucket has a hole. Would you please repair it?
– Are you stupid! Do you know who I am?
– Yes I do – you are specialist in plastic surgery…

A patient comes to a doctor:
– Doc, I think I’m allergic – when I wake up with boots, I feel terrible headache.

Remember, when you are wishing your friends good health, you are wishing unemployment for doctors.

How can you recognize a gynecologist? He’s wearing a watch above his elbow.

New Russian says to a doctor after he gives his diagnosis:
– Doc, you have to make the decision. Either I will live or you will die….

I won’t go to doctor today – I don’t feel well enough.