In the midst of a busy life, juggling children, grandchildren, work, hobbies and home maintenance, it is easy to end up with romance on the back burner. Sometimes you feel like you literally have nothing left to give each other at the end of the day.
If you feel like your marriage or relationship has become more like a contract between flatmates than a lifelong romance, it’s time to take action! Like all good things in life, love takes a bit of work and discipline, and the hard work is worth it.
When love becomes a little bit mundane, it’s not the time to apportion blame, it’s time to accept that there needs to b a change, from both of you. No relationship can flourish when only one person is involved, and no one person is ever solely responsible for troubles.
Take some time to think about the aspects of your relationship are the most important to you. What did you promise each other in the beginning of your love affair? Are you staying true to those principles? If it weren’t for the two of you getting together in the beginning, this life you have today would not even exist! You are in this together – and you can make it through this together.
Life will get in the way of your marriage if you let it, so be be proactive rather than reactive
To improve any relationship, you need time. If your marriage is important to you, treat it as such – don’t leave it until the last thing on your list. While you can’t go back in time and change everything that has gone on, you can start a new habit as of today – find 20 minutes each day to be together.
Put the kids to bed. Turn off the television, computer, phones, etc. Have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and just be friends. Try to leave the hum drum of bills etc out of this time. Don’t talk about the kids. Just talk like adults and lovers. Hopefully it becomes a high point of each day and easily becomes a longer stretch of time effortlessly (with practice).
From here, make a date. Go out together, just the two of you – enjoy a movie, a walk, a show, or just a meal. Fun and love go hand in hand, so go and find the fun again – you married your best friend didn’t you?