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Denise Corlett – Is your personality your biggest attraction factor?

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By Denise Corlett.

Find more articles by Denise here.

In 2town Lifestyle Magazine asked one hundred ladies between 25 and 35 years, what they were looking for in a guy when they considered dating them or going into a relationship with them.  One hundred is not a big number I know and there is a 10 year range only.  Nevertheless there’s merit in this survey.  

When I speak to women, aged anywhere between late 20’s and into the 60’s then certain aspects of a man’s personality do rate highly.  So it doesn’t surprise me to see personality valued at 51% of what women said they look for.

But what do they actually mean by personality?  Women said they look for a man with a “strong personality who can make them laugh as well as being able to hold a conversation other than football and cars.  The 51% also said that they like a man with a strong personality who could get on with their friends and who did not feel intimidated by being surrounded by a potential partner’s girlfriends”.

If this is the case then how do you rate in the factors mentioned?

Generally I believe that our personality is what it is.  It’s not something that significantly changes over our lifetime.  However, our behaviour, communication, thoughts and beliefs can.  Therefore if you believe you’re not someone who tends to make women laugh, converse about a range of topics and feel okay amongst your date’s girlfriends, then maybe it’s worthwhile looking at upping your attraction by becoming more comfortable in those areas.

What’s your sense of humour like?

Humour or making women laugh is something that works best when you’re relaxed and feeling confident.  You don’t have to be the best comedian but certainly by understanding women and women’s issues it can help in terms of an angle.  Subjects to make women laugh can focus on work or relationships, about funny things to do with you and about everyday life events.  Really though, more than anything, you should be you and let your own sense of humour emerge.  Play with it; see what works well and what doesn’t.

Can you converse about a range of topics?

If you’re finding your range is limited, start with subjects that interest you first and expand on these.  Think about the kind of woman you’re interested in and about what her daily life is about.  Brainstorm here and really drill down as to what she’s into.  Then from this information, research and find out more.  Magazines, the internet, friends/family, books, the library and so many more mediums can be used to find out subjects of conversation for the kind of woman you’re interested in.

Can you get on with her friends?

This can be a biggie…she’s know her friends from well before you cam e on the scene.  She trusts them, shares with them and they will most likely be a strong influence in her life, decisions and the way she feels about you.  Take a genuine interest in them, find out about their lives, and be present with them and pleasant to them.  You’ll gain brownie points, big brownie points if you find favour with her friends.

Ladies…what about you?

Ladies, although this is an article focusing on men, some of the rules can apply.  Your personality can be your biggest asset.  Sure, looks/how you present can draw men in, but to keep them conversing with you, interested in you, then your personality is going to make a significant difference. 

What do you think?

Do you think personality is the biggest attraction factor?  If so, what aspects do you find attractive or not in others?  If not, what do you look for in a man or woman?


If you’d like to download my new free e-Book  “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:


Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz.

Copyright (C) 2009.