Love and Sleep

Love and sleep; we all need them both to function at our best.

When you are first in a relationship, falling asleep and waking up to your beloved is precious. Your bed is a haven and a place to laugh, talk, make love and be together.

As time goes by, illness, injury, snoring and life can get in the way, and lead you to separate beds, or even separate rooms. What impact can this have on a relationship?

One of the most long-standing pieces of advice handed out to newlyweds is never to let the sun go down on an argument. Going to bed angry, with issues unresolved is a sure fire way to have a terrible night’s sleep and wake in the morning grumpy and ready to over-react to the slightest provocation.

Similarly, too much physical space can lead to emotional gaps.

For a couple, their bedroom should be a haven, a special place to share their most intimate and unguarded moments. Long after passion may have waned, the intimacy of falling asleep and waking up together, along with cuddles and those snatches of conversation that mean so much, should be preserved.

Sleep disturbance

Sleep disturbance can be extremely difficult for both partners, for different reasons. Before you give up and move into separate rooms, try to solve the sleep puzzle and follow a few simple rules to encourage great sleep.

– Limit caffeine in the late afternoon and evening 

– Eat a lighter evening meal, or eat earlier, so you don’t go to bed feeling over-full

– Take the TV, laptop and mobile phone out of the bedroom

– Have a bath or give each other a 10-minute massage before bed

– Check that any medication isn’t interfering with sleep

– Laugh a lot

– Get some exercise each day 

– Talk through worries 

– Keep alcohol consumption light

– Try not to nap late in the afternoon
– Seek medical advice about aches and pains that keep you awake

– Check that your bed is comfortable

Obviously, a bed in which you are both comfortable is key. Beds should be replaced at least every 10 years. Every 10 years we age and change shape, so it makes sense that our bed, where we spent 1/3 of our life, will do so too.

Amy Robens of Sleepyhead says advances in bed technology mean that virtually the sleep disturbance that can’t be solved is snoring! If you and your partner are different sizes, or have different needs or tastes (a firm mattress for a sore back, or a soft mattress for aching hips for example), a new bed may solve some of your issues.

This in turn will keep you physically closer for longer, and keep your relationship in better shape too.