Way #9 to Kill Conflict – Acknowledge

 Read more from Eva-Maria here.

ACKNOWLEDGE: the conflict may be a blessing in disguise: look for the ultimate win-win outcome – only achievable through straightforward, honest communication

To tie in all the 9 ways to kill conflict, the last ‘tip’ is to acknowledge the conflict at hand. Acknowledge it as a conflict. At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, they encourage everyone to firstly admit that there is a problem. They say the hardest step is to admit that the problem exists and that it’s there. It’s interesting, because when a conflict is happening, the last thing you want to do is admit that there’s a problem at hand because we’ve grown up in a world where we believe that every problem has someone to blame in it. But it’s so, so, so important to be able to take a step back, and in front of the teen, acknowledge that you understand there’s a conflict happening. This makes you both aware of the fact that you both at least agree to disagree, and that in itself is already massive progress for you both.
 
Acknowledge the problem at hand.
Realize that there’s an opportunity to work through the problem at hand
Communicate effectively, evoking understanding
Let each other know where your values lie
Compromise to reach a win-win solution
 
Everything in life is up to our perception, and I believe we shouldn’t have to perceive building relationships as a hard task – it should be easy and off-the-cuff, like many other things we build in life. Sure it takes some time, patience and understanding to work through some of the harder issues but at the end of the day, it’s not unattainable, and can be very rewarding in the future years.
 
People say ‘Be nice to your children because they’ll be choosing you rest home’, but I reckon we shouldn’t blackmail ourselves into building productive relationships – we should be building them anyway, just because we care about the future we’re leaving for our youth to inherit.
 
Trust Your Future.

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Eva-Maria <3
em@youshutup.co.nz