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Hi, my name is Scally. Yes as you already know, it is short for Scallywag. It would appear that my mother has had her five minutes of fame. Well let me tell you some home truths. Firstly she told you her name is Missy. What she didn’t tell you is it is short for Mischievous. You see, I arranged for her to get that name, as when she first bought us to the house, she pretended to be a bit of a mischief. Well I know better. How do you think she learnt to control the slaves? Now I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, (yes, cats can do anything) but it was me. Being younger than my mother, as most children are, I knew better than her. Oh yes, sometimes my mother thinks she knows best, but all the time I am controlling her with my mysterious ways. I also have my special ways of getting the slaves to bow to my every whim. At most times the slaves think that cats are stupid, but in fact we are planning and scheming for our next venture. My brain is always in top gear, thinking of another way for the slaves to make our lives easier.
Let me tell you of some of my personal exploits. When my man slave is doing his exercises, I will rub up against his legs and keep on meowing until he picks me up and gives me a cuddle. He will then scratch the back of my head or rub my tummy, and to him he thinks that is what I wanted, but in fact, all I wanted to do was disrupt his routine. Then there are the times when the nights are very cold and although I have a permanent fur coat, I also like to have the heater on, to lie in front of it. That’s when I stand in front of the heater and give one of the slaves that look. Yes, you know “the look”
It doesn’t take long for the message to get through. Sometimes I might be having a quick snooze in another room and the slaves will put the heater on without telling me. That’s when I hear the click of the starter and I know it is time for me to proceed to the other room and lie right in front of the warmth so I get my share first.
One of my best achievements is to stand by the door of the room where our food is and just pretend that nothing is going on, but all the time I am sending out signals that the food bowl needs topping up. Funny how it works every time. Gee, I’m cleverer than I thought.
My slaves can get any dish they want from the cupboard, but when they get out the glass saucer, which makes a particular sound, I know that we are getting a special treat, or they are having mince for dinner and a small portion will be made available to us.
We have, what is referred to as a dirt box, but I only use it for number ones, after all, when my mother has used it, no one would want to go within twenty feet of it. Any way, for number twos, I would rather go outside and have a good dig around in the garden. This is most enjoyable after the man slave has planted new seedlings and when I show him that the loose soil is better suited to my needs than his, he has to go and straighten up the rows again.
Sometimes the slaves don’t want to let me outside, particularly after it gets dark. But I’m not afraid of the dark, unlike some slaves, so I just keep sitting by the door and meowing until they get the message. It’s the same routine when I want to go back inside. A few medium to quiet meows does the trick.
Although there is always a bowl of water beside the food, I would prefer to drink from the flower bowl on the table. I’m still working on getting the slaves to remove the floating candles, but that may take time, after all, it’s an ongoing battle to keep them cooperating.
Sometimes, the slaves do things without our permission, like taking us to the vet for a check up. When I hear the sound of the cage, I try to hide, but they always find me. It really isn’t that bad until the vet sticks that small glass thing where the sun doesn’t shine. The slaves keep saying, good girl, but they are not the recipients of the intrusion. One day I will get them back for all the times they had that done.
One other really good thing I do is to sit in the sun by the window in the lounge. I can watch the dogs going past outside without having any fears that I might end up like my mum, with only three legs. Talking of my mum, yes I do sleep really close to her, but that’s for my comfort more than hers.
All things aside, I do look after my mum, you see, since the dog incident, there are certain areas of her fur that she can’t get to clean, so I do the daughterly thing and help her. After all, what are daughters for?
While we cats are continually treated with the pleasures of life and the slaves are doing their daily chores to give us the type of life style that we have trained them to give us, then we will keep letting them think that they are in charge, but we know best.
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