Average Rating: 0
- Connect
- Living
Inside Living
Featured Living Article
Lyn Potter - Holiday Baking with the Grandkids
"Treats from Little and Friday" a recipe book in which Kim Evans shares all her delicious baking secrets is out just in time for the school holidays. Read more...
- Travel
- Health
Inside Health
Featured Health Article
Ron Tustin - Rethinking Retirement
"I never stopped doing anything when I retired; I stopped getting paid for it." - Bill Chavanne Read more...
- Money
- Retirement Living
- News
- Games
- Directories & Classifieds
- Offers
- Contact & Help
- Notices
-
WIN a Globus California Classics Tour for Two!
This year you could be taking a $9400 trip for two to California
Soothe Worry & Tension
...while enhancing your libido (men and women)
Sports & Travel Survey
Complete the survey and be in to win a $100 Westfield voucher
Let's Chat Over Lunch
Have a Free Lunch with Metlifecare
Feel All-Bran New
New Ways to Get Fibre Into Your Day
Win a return journey across Cook Strait
See more of New Zealand with Bluebridge
See the Difference
Eyesight Advice from Visique Optometrists
2degrees Offer
Making the CDMA switchover easy
Optometry & Eyewear Survey
We'd like to find out a little more about your optometry & eyewear preferences
CDMA Phone Network close down 31 July
Move now & get $79 credit with every Prepaid mobile
List your Classified
House Sitters, Employment, For Sale, Property & Personals
Live Chat
With fellow GrownUps in our multi-room chatCompare & Purchase Insurance products
Disclaimer: Grown Ups is not an Insurance Broker. We provide product information from recognised Insurance companies. We are not making recommendations and we accept no responsibility for decisions made as a result of using the information provided.'
R50 Sexual Health
Check out the new section available to everyone.
Recipes
Find some delicious recipes by clicking here.
Guide to Retirement Living
Get your own copy for free, here.
Join around 100,000 monthly visitors and 72,000 members: daily games, discussions, contribute articles, make new friendships, GrownUps-only offers & more...
Regular Columnists on GrownUps
Category sponsor
WICOE (Women In Charge Of Everything)
Is proud to announce the opening of its Evening Classes For Men! - All are welcome
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participantsThe course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -
Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
Advertisement
Advertisement
- Article Information
- Explore This Topic
-
This article is part of the Humour & Jokes topic. Click here to read articles, join discussions and more on this topic. Below are the latest articles in this topic.
- Discuss This
-
Click here to start a discussion on this or Click here to read other discussions.
- Happy St Patrick's Day
Latest comment at 09:47 17 Mar 2012 by Meandog - "CLOWNING"
Latest comment at 18:40 01 Oct 2010 by jesse - Naughty Jokes
Latest comment at 23:01 14 Dec 2009 by Jante - Daily Haha Thread (v2)
Latest comment at 15:10 17 Jul 2011 by Gigglebyte - Things aren't always as they appear.
Latest comment at 21:19 20 Aug 2008 by Kari - JOKES
Latest comment at 18:54 10 Aug 2008 by margaretE602
- Happy St Patrick's Day
- Contribute
-
Click here to create an article on this topic, or view contributions made by your fellow GrownUps members
All contributions are entered into our regular prize draws!Below are a selection of User Contributed Article related to Joke of the Day.
by Supergold 31st May 2011
A blind man was flying in a small plane with his brother, the pilot, when his brother suddenly clutched his chest and died.
After finally finding the radio, the blind man called for help and was answered by an air traffic controller at a nearby airport.
"You've got to help me! I'm totally blind, the pilot of this plane is dead, and we are flying upside down!"
The air traffic controller answered "I understand that the pilot is dead and you are blind, but if you are blind how do you know that you are flying upside down?"
"Because I have sh*t running up my neck!!!"
A woman called the local hospital...
"Hello, Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I would like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse".
The voice on the other end said "What is the patient's name and room number?"
"Sarah Finkel, Room 302
I'll connect you to the nursing station.
"Third floor Nursing Station. How can I help you? "I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302".
'Just a moment, let me look at her records. Mrs Finkel is very well. In fact she has had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours, and if she continues this improvement, Dr Cohen is going to send her home on Tuesday.
The woman said "what a relief, Oh that is fanastic. That is wonderful news"
The nurse said, "from your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend?
"Neither, I'm Sarah Finkel in Room 302 and nobody tells me sh*t'!!!....
One year I decided to buy my mother - in - law a plot in the local cemetery as a Xmas gift! The following year, I didn't give her a gift. When she enquired about my failure to give her a gift, I replied, "Well , you still haven't used the one I bought you last year!" And then the fight started.........
By becoming a GrownUps member and part of the Community, you gain access to:
- Enter Competitions
- Go into regular prize draws
- Play daily games
- Join Discussion Groups
- Find like-minded individuals and create lasting friendships
- Receive special GrownUps offers and
- Add you own articles of interest, recipes, pictures for fellow members to read and view.
site links
Learn how to take care of your mental health
Avalon Waterways European River cruising - 2013 Earlybird savings out now!
Get yourself super healthy and energised fast, live healthy - be healthy with Bev Bentley from Herbalife
Drive Europe from only $46 per day with Renault Eurodrive - click here to find out more.
Cycling New Zealand with the Geriatrix Cycle Touring Group.
Find out what the latest trends are in curtains for your home with the experts.
For endless views of endless plains, the best way to see Queensland's outback is by train. Now with exclusive GrownUps bonus 20% discount in First Class on Spirit of The Outback.
Wanting to remain independent and at home? Check out the range of home help services Geneva Care can provide to assist with this.
