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Nursing Home
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.
This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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by barr012 25th July 2011
Once upon a time, a genie appeared to a man and offered him one wish. "Well,"said the man, "I've always wanted to go to Africa but plane tickets are so expensive and boats are so slow.Can you build a bridge from Auckland to Africa?" "I'm sorry man," the genie said, "You're pretty much asking the impossibe.That bridge would be thousands of kilometres. Plus, you'll need petrol stations and motels on the way. I'm sorry but you're going to have to ask for something else." "Oh," said the disappointed man. "Well, can you grant me the ability to understand women?" The genie cleared his throat, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"
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