This article is part of the Humour & Jokes topic. Below are more articles in this topic.
- Connect
- Living
- Travel
- Health
Vitality Community - because we've got a whole lot of living to do!
Our aim is to be your guide to living life to the full. The keys to staying vital and active for longer are within our grasp! Read more...
- Money
- Retirement Living
- News
- Games
- Directories & Classifieds
- Offers
- Contact & Help
- Store
Become a GrownUp and join our Community. Stay up to date with our weekly newsletter, discuss topics with other members, grab some great member-only offers and so much more.
Tell Friends & Family about GrownUps
Introduce others to a new world, online.
Introduce others to a new world, online.
Radiance Supplements for Life
Expert Health Tips, Articles and Advice
Expert Health Tips, Articles and Advice
Join the Vitality Community!
Our aim is to be your guide to living life to the full!
Our aim is to be your guide to living life to the full!
Who are the Globus Family of Brands?
Read the story of one of the largest tour & river cruise operators in the world.
Read the story of one of the largest tour & river cruise operators in the world.
List your Classified
House Sitters, Employment, For Sale, Property & Personals
House Sitters, Employment, For Sale, Property & Personals
Chat with other Members
Click on the blue banner on the top right hand side of the page!
Click on the blue banner on the top right hand side of the page!
Compare & Purchase Insurance products
Disclaimer: GrownUps is not an Insurance Broker. We do not make recommendations on any financial services products. Always seek suitable advice.
Disclaimer: GrownUps is not an Insurance Broker. We do not make recommendations on any financial services products. Always seek suitable advice.
R50 Sexual Health
Check out the new section available to everyone.
Check out the new section available to everyone.
Recipes
Find some delicious recipes by clicking here.
Find some delicious recipes by clicking here.
Category sponsor
Illusions
Sign in to rate this article!
Share this article:
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," replied the artist.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
- Explore This Topic Further
-
Advertisement
Advertisement
by grah025
8th August 2011
I thought I would go to see an eye doctor when I was on holiday on an Alaskan Island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian!!!!
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble..
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'
By becoming a GrownUps member and part of the Community, you gain access to:
- Enter Competitions
- Go into regular prize draws
- Play daily games
- Join Discussion Groups
- Find like-minded individuals and create lasting friendships
- Receive special GrownUps offers and
- Add you own articles of interest, recipes, pictures for fellow members to read and view.
site links
Learn how to take care of your mental health
ASB KiwiSaver Scheme - awarded a triple 5 star rating for the second year running
By Popular Demand, here they come again The Seven Irish Tenors are here click to find out more.
Regional Colour Trends From Resene - Planning on painting but not sure where to start with colours? Find out how colour choices vary depending on where you live.
April is IBS Awareness month. Click for the chance to win $150 of Phloe Pamper Packs.
