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I Can Explain
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down the main street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
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- Happy St Patrick's Day
Latest comment at 09:47 17 Mar 2012 by Meandog - "CLOWNING"
Latest comment at 18:40 01 Oct 2010 by jesse - Naughty Jokes
Latest comment at 23:01 14 Dec 2009 by Jante - Daily Haha Thread (v2)
Latest comment at 15:10 17 Jul 2011 by Gigglebyte - Things aren't always as they appear.
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Click here to create an article on this topic, or view contributions made by your fellow GrownUps members
All contributions are entered into our regular prize draws!Below are a selection of User Contributed Article related to Joke of the Day.
by kentishmaid 14th December 2011
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and
listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God
bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing
to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange
coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and
good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"Holy cow" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other
side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her
say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up
at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all
day, had lunch and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he
stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every
sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went
home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late.
What's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day
of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of
my lesson!"
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