I survived my husband's Illness

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It was Christmas time and the shops were abuzz with happy shoppers searching for that special gift to light up a loved ones eyes. It was lunch time and I went into the malls large cafe for a cup of tea and a bite to eat.

As I sat alone at the table my eyes wandered around the room and I could not help noticing the number of obviously retired couples sitting together enjoying the break from the hustle and bustle out in the mall. Suddenly a sadness enveloped me and I was unable to stop tears falling from my eyes.

I looked down but it all became too much and I hurried from the cafe to hide my loss of self control. It began three years ago after my husband retired. We decided to sell up and move to Perth W.A. and warmer climes. Not forever though. It was a happy move, our son and family were a five hour drive away.

We made friends and enjoyed the never ending round of outdoor entertaining and places to visit. We bought a house and new car and the world was our oyster.

E.. became unwell and had numerous tests and the earache he was plagued with was supposedly fixed with a sinus draining and new gromett. He was no better and lost weight rapidly and was treated for depression. We sold up and returned home three months later where he was hospitalised for twelve days. After a brain scan it was diagnosed as cancer and was untreatable.

While all this was going on I had to find us a home and car and we moved in on a miserable winter's day. I felt so alone and now E was in bed most of the time. My sister would spend the day with me to help but the nights were long and lonely. I was determined he was not going to die in hospital and battled on.

He collapsed one night on the floor and I lost it! I rang the afterhours medical centre in hysterics and they promised to send a doctor out after 9pm. E. had a short stay in hospital and extra treatment was given. The best part was that E. now had daily nursing care and a woman stayed the night so I could sleep.

He eventually lost the ability to swallow or speak and then his sight went. He never once complained. I had my 60th birthday and as I lay beside him I told him I was officially a pensioner. Shortly I heard him singing Happy Birthday to me. A friend would come and sing the hymns he loved and read scriptures to him.

Once the family began arriving the precious night minder was able to be relieved. His two brothers and sisters arrived from Auckland. I told him they were on the way. Then, that they were being picked up at the airport, and now they were here. As his sister called his name he held up his arms for her hug.

E. passed away in the early hours that night. Looking back on my lapse in the cafe I know it was seeing those grey haired couples so happy together that caused me to break down. I wanted to tell them to cherish each other as one never knows when life is about to change. Yes, I survived my husband's illness with the help from family, friends and the organisations out there just waiting to do what they can in times of distress.

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