Short Story: Money Bags

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'Have you seen Ruth Fenton recently?'
Trish asked her friend Lois.
They were sitting in their favourite cafe
sipping on their third irish coffee.
This was gossie time, and they met here
every friday, just to catch up.
'Can't say that I have, why,
what's she up to now?' 'Well', said Trish,
flicking her hair back off her shoulders,
as she so often did.
'I saw her in the supermarket last Saturday,
and would you believe, her bust
has expanded by at least three dress sizes?
She actually blushed and tried her best
to avoid me, as she knew
I would notice the change,
as we always used to sunbathe
topless around her swimming pool,
and we were both 'very' small in
that department.
I thought she looked ridiculous,
like she was top heavy,
but all the guys in the veg and butchery
department were going into a hormonic spin!
 She always did have a problem with her small
boobs, so I guess now that she's married
to old moneybags, the rip off merchant,
she could afford to upsize. I expect
she'll have her face done next,
'cause if she lets herself grow old gracefully,
as the saying goes, old moneybags will
turf her out and move on to
the next floosie that takes his fancy'.
'If I didn't know better, I would be thinking
you are jealous!' lois chuckled
'You know you could've married him 5 years ago,
he chased you long enough'.
'I wouldn't have married that prat
if he'd been the last man standing.'
Trish yelled, rather loudly, attracting
considerable attention from other cafe patrons.
'Just because he's filthy rich,
he thinks he's gods gift to women,
and have you noticed he always has
dandruff on his shoulders?
and what's more his zipper always
seems to be undone,
I'm sure he does it on purpose.
Also, i've heard from a reliable source,
that he likes a bit of 'how's your father',
with the odd pretty boy as well!'
The things some woman will tolerate,
just to have access to a purse full
of money!' Lois sighed
'Why is it that nearly all the guys
who have unlimited funds at their disposal
seem to be absolute jerks!'
As they got up to leave, to their shock,
horror and absolute dismay,
who should be sitting right behind them,
listening to every word,
was none other than moneybags himself.

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