Abu bin Laden

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Abu bin Laden may his tribe decrease
Awoke in the mountains to find a world peace
He thought it's not cricket with all of this calm
I only know mayham, I only do harm Young women live longer the bomb factory's dead
The men unemployed moaning they were mislead
Demand for our semtex designs has dried up
Theology sucks, someone sold me a pup So I'll rewrite the Koran in American jingo
Eliminate stonings and introduce bingo
Deflower the virgins, be kind to the chaps
Legitimise gambling with poker and craps Revamp the Godhead to make it seem wise
Like Ali Atola and all of those guys
Let burkas be optional the same as zoot suits
Let ladies wear turbans and mink lined fur boots Make alcohol legal to be drunk by the throng
Let lovers indulge who can never do wrong
We could update one JC to make him a saint
Like ole Colonel Sanders but not quite as quaint Play rap music daily from tall minarets
Broadcast the bourse and handle the bets
Let mosques be fun places for kiddies and mums
And not full of blokes showing lines of fat bums We could have elections with buntings and hype
Be the one true religion, the one archetype
Donations accepted by eftpos and gold
A blue chip investment, and unsurpassed 'hold' Forget about camels, they belch and they fart
Ships of the desert, no I'm savy and smart
For me only Porches, and Rollers, and Mercs
And Rolex, Armini's and all of those perks Forget about tents and caves in the hills
Hunted by troopers all hyped up on pills
For me it's the good life of Raffles and Ritz
Disciples around me, and girls with big ...s I'll stand on a world stage and preach to the minions
Expounding my message and banking my billions
And Allah within me, Koran in my hand
The updated version, franchised, with my brand So I'm ditching the sandals, the caftan, the mules
I'm deep into Nike and Adidas rules
Reborn in the mould my creator desires
As Ahab the Arab, and all his Empires. *From the irreverent mutterings of Kaipara MacKenzie - classification in the US Congress Library uncertain.

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