Ron Tustin - Facing Tough Times

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“The world is hard enough on a person without you being hard on yourself”.

Some 30 finance companies have failed in the last two years. Tens of thousands of investors have lost millions of dollars of their lifetime savings as a consequence. Many of them are people like you and I who may have lost their retirement savings. It is easy to talk about the global credit crunch, and unwise investment decisions, but behind each one of these company failures lies a myriad of personal stories, of lives shattered, or dreams unfulfilled.

In addition, many of us may have recently faced other adversities such as a separation or other personal loss, redundancy and other personal and financial problems. This month I would like to talk about some of the ways we can bring ourselves out of these slumps and lows.

“We Become Who We Spend Time With”

The media thrive on ‘bad news’ stories and we can fooled into thinking things are a lot worse than they actually are. We also have friends who tend to see the glass as half empty rather than full. Try to avoid spending too much time around such people.

We become the people who we spend most time with. If we consciously spend time with people who have high self-esteem, are self-confident and are positive we not only become more like them but we pick up some good ideas from them too.

Get Off The Couch

Whereas in the past we were told to be a ‘go-getter’ to strive for what we wanted, now more and more of us are becoming a ‘go-giver’. In this time of our lives we often have more time and are more willing to contribute to and to serve others. Our wisdom and experience are gifts that are good to pass on and we often surprisingly get back a lot more. By asking ‘what is the best way I can contribute to someone else’s life’, such as becoming a volunteer for a group you may feel passionate about or spending more time with family than ever before,  we tend to get back more than we ever put in. This is the so-called ‘Law of Reciprocity’ at work.  

Whatever we do, to change how we feel, it is important to ‘get off the couch’ and take some action. Reading a book, going for a walk or playing your favourite game are a good start too.

What’s Your Direction?

Sometimes if I’ve been feeling low, I’ve discovered that it is often because I have too much going on in my life. I’m trying to do too much. And it saps my energy and motivation. It is a common mistake that people make: they try to take on too much, try to accomplish too many goals at once.

You have to choose one goal, for now, and focus on it completely. I know, that’s hard. You can always work on your other goals when you’ve accomplished the first one.

At the same time it is important for a lot of us to find a person, such as coach or a mentor, who is not emotionally attached to you, to help you to be accountable and to help you out of the slump. A good coach will listen carefully to you, help you create the goals that are your own and not someone else’s, help you to take actions and remind you of where you want to get to. It is not easy to accomplish something alone. In this cyber age, we can all find some support for what we want to do, if not from people we know, we can find it online.

Motivation Is Tidal

Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for us. It ebbs and flows like the tide. But while it may go away, it doesn’t do so permanently. It will come back. Just stick it out and wait for that motivation to come back. In the meantime, think about your goal, ask for help and try out some of the other things I’ve talked about here until your motivation comes back.

Next month I will talk more about tips for staying motivated.

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."  - Barack Obama

Ron Tustin
Revive and Thrive Coaching
www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com
info@rtc.org.nz
Ph 0800 003679

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.

Published 30th Apr 2009

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