How Friends Affect Your Self Esteem

Article by Joyce Lee

Do you spend your time with your friends laughing, teasing, supporting each other and talking about your dreams?

Or... do you gossip, complain, whine, worry, and talk about all the problems in your life?

Who you spend your time with, and what you spend that time doing says a whole lot about your self esteem and self confidence.

I have heard it said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend your time with. So, if those 5 people have a positive and progressive outlook on life that means that you probably do too. If those people have a narrow and limiting view of the world and life that means you may be stuck.

If you want to feel good about yourself you need to take a serious look at the quality of your friendships.

Here are Five Questions for Reflection.

1. Are your friendships healthy?
In order to answer this question, you need a reference point for the meaning of 'healthy'. For the purpose of this article, let’s say that a healthy friendship is where both people feel happy and supported within the relationship and feel completely autonomous. Support is unconditional.

Do you feel that your decisions ever let your friend down, or that you need to follow your friend's advice even when you don't want to? Are one or both of you too involved in each other's life? If so, you may want to redefine the terms of the friendship.

2. Do your close friends support your dreams?
Do you have a group of cheerleaders following you through life? Do they give their energy to helping you paint your vision of what you aspire to? Or do they point out all the possible stumbling blocks "for your own good?"

Can you hardly wait to tell your friends about your inspired ideas, knowing that they are going to dream along with you?

3. Do your friends want to talk about positive aspects of life?
Is you time together spent talking about what is great in life? Do you look for positive solutions to problems and challenges? Or do you get stuck in problem thinking?

The Law of Attraction states that you get what you focus on whether you want it or not.

4. Are your friends grateful for the abundance of life?
Are your friends joyful and grateful? Do they share their abundance openly and freely? Do they add to the positive energy of the planet? Are you blessed by the honour of being their friend?

5. Do feel light and happy when you are with your friends?
Take an energy reading the next time you visit with your close friends. Do you feel light and happy? Bored? Heavy?

Sometimes, life requires serious handling, and not every day is a party, even so, a positive friend will turn grey skies blue again. She will add sunshine to your life. She will point out your strengths and share her confidence in you.

A great friend who is fully present, loving and powerful is a gift to not only you but to the whole world. If you have one or more of that calibre of friend you are indeed blessed.

Make sure that you are that wonderful friend too.

Published 20th Nov 2008

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