Ron Tustin - Creating a Social Network in Any City

 Read more articles from Ron Tustin. For people itchy to make things better

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Tennessee Williams

When ever we talk about social networks now, it means one thing to certain people- putting your head into a phone or computer and getting on Twitter or Facebook. I personally have created a Twitter/Facebook-free zone around me. It may be a little ostrich-like but apart from the obvious privacy issues I still fail to see its relevance in relation to the amount of time you may need to put in to it.

However one of the big secrets to success and happiness in life (not to mention good health) is having a web of friends and associates. So this month I will talk particularly to those of you who have moved to a new community and wish to get to know people face to face within a short time?

It certainly helps to have an outgoing personality. However, the following ideas may help to get better results for you. This works especially well if you've just arrived in a brand-new city, knowing hardly anyone at all. If you've lived someplace for a little while, you just have to pretend you're a newcomer and implement the same steps.

Have an Attitude of Openness and Interest:

First, it's important to internalize the key determinant of your social success: an attitude of openness and interest. If you show genuine interest in the people you meet, they tend to reciprocate by showing genuine interest in you. Also, an attitude of openness generally works better than one of "I wonder what I can get out of this person."

Accept All Invitations:

If someone has opened their door and heart to you and has requested your company, honour that. The event could be anything - a birthday party, a dinner, a professional networking event, a gallery opening or a pay event. Show up. Remember that there are only two kinds of people: friends and future friends. And if you said you would show up, be there, even if you don't fully feel like it at the last minute. Of course, there will be times when you have conflicts and can't attend the event, and that's acceptable. Decline politely, express your regrets, and do your best to attend the next event.

Honour All Contacts:

Now that you've shown up, you'll speak to a variety of people. Some may not initially catch your attention. That's okay--honour the contact anyway. If you speak to someone, no matter how briefly, exchange contact information with that person. Each friend you make increases your potential for meeting even more people, so be inclusive.

Follow Up On All Contacts:

Most of us wait until there's a good reason to contact person they have just met. And 99 percent of the time, that means we will never contact that person again. But in your case send a note to all the people that you meet within 48 hours of meeting them. I prefer to do it the day after, just because that way I know I'm not missing anyone, and I'll remember them well. If you wait a week, you will usually forget entirely, and after that they may not remember who you are. So do it the next day. It doesn't have to be anything fancy--just say it was nice meeting them, mention something about your conversation, and close by saying that you look forward to keeping in touch.

Give Back:

Now that you have accepted all these invitations, it's now your turn to issue some of your own. The best way to do that is to host an event. The golden rule is to invite about 4 times as many people as you hope to turn up. Send out a witty invitation- it may be a dinner, a party, organising a group to attend a concert or other event. It should be a reflection of who you are, so have a compelling theme. An interesting aspect of human psychology is that the more effort people have to put in to attend your event, the more committed they will be to attending, and the more they will enjoy it once they show up.

So be open, show up, meet, follow up, and give back. Like everything else in life, the more you participate and give, the more you can expect to meet new people and expand your social circle.

It's not what you know but who you know that makes the difference.

Please contact me if there is anything in this article you would like to discuss or place your comments on my blog.

Ron Tustin
Revive and Thrive Coaching

Read Ron's Blog
www.reviveandthrivecoaching.com
info@rtc.org.nz
Ph 0800 003679

Motivating baby boomers to see the world with fresh eyes.
 

Published 24th Nov 2011

print