Agewell: Be Alive, Keep Learning and Be Alive

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By Mike Milstein

Kindra Douglas is a bit of a vagabond. She grew up in a small New Zealand town at the bottom end of the Manukau Harbor area. She spent time on the beach, rode ponies and, generally, thrived on the outdoor life. As a young adult she taught primary school for about five years at Turangi and Christchurch, worked at a radio station in Sydney and returned to Auckland to work as a remedial reading specialist in the first children’s specialty bookshop. Many years later she found time to undertake and complete a Fine Arts degree at Otago University. After eight years in Dunedin, which she found hard on her body, she came to Nelson five years ago because it “is an easy place to live and an easy place to grow older.”

Kindra’s wide life experiences are held together by her bedrock values and her commitment to reflection about what her life is about. “My mother taught me to always take time to reflect about what I’ve learned and experienced. I’ve kept diaries and journals. What’s this day been about? What’s this week been about? How can I plan ahead? When I read a book, I’m interested in the human interaction around the world. I write in my journal about what I read and whether I agree with it and what it means for my life. I keep pushing myself to know what my values are.”

"Reflection gives me lots of confidence to transfer my skills to new places and new areas. It helps me gather some wisdom, which is really about accumulated hindsight, and to be more conscious rather than just going on.”

The fact that she was recently selected as the Nelsonian of the Year attests to how well Kindra is “conscious rather than just going on.” She has used her time in Nelson to become deeply engaged in community work, including involvement with the Nelson-Tasman Housing Trust, the Victory Centre, and the Nelson Women’s Centre. She says the recognition is “humbling and a feeling of being honoured by my community and peers. But it wouldn’t have happened without the good teams I’ve worked with and the Victory Center’s new model of health that looks at the whole--our well being, including social connections, cultural connections and relationships.” She is also proud of the Nelson Women’s Center, which is “a really strong organisation supporting women.”

“In Nelson I probably feel more a part of the community than I ever have anywhere else. It is a mixture of maturity, a blend of skills, and ageing. I never worked in the community sector in a paid job before. Community service is built around relationships. These can be built fast with strong bonds and works best with a common vision.”

Kindra is passionate about helping those in need of finding adequate housing. “Having a home is an absolutely primary survival need. It enhances anybody’s ageing. Those without a home feel little stability. I have a number of friends in this situation. I’m privileged in that I have had good parents who helped and government loans at only 3 % when I was 28 and building a home.”

Kindra is 55 and just beginning to move into the world of ageing. But she’s “not worried about its actual shape. It’s much more about the values I hold and the kind of qualities I enjoy. Coming here was about being able to enjoy an outdoors’ life easier. My house has lots of steps and my partner and I may have to move at some point within the next 20 years, but I’m much more interested in the quality of relationships and social connections, like my book club, where I meet with like-minded people. I encourage young people who hold similar values to get into such groups and organisations.”

“I think it is important to keep learning and being alive. The Third Age offers a lot of opportunities for integration of what we have learned. Each of us has our own ways of pulling the strands of our lives together. The important thing, as Joseph Campbell reminds us, is to “follow your bliss.” Take the time to do what you love. Life is too short to be wasted!”

Note: This article was published in The Leader, Nelson, NZ. It was written on behalf of the Conscious Ageing Network (CAN), which is sponsored by Age Concern, Nelson. If you want to share your thoughts with CAN or wish to know when interviews will be aired, send an email to agewell@xtra.co.nz. 

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