How to Introduce Tantric Sex to Your Lover

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A lot of people are sceptical about tantric sex simply because they don't know enough about it. Because it's not the 'norm', they tend to shy away or even ridicule it. Is your lover one of these people?

If your partner is not so hot about engaging in Tantric sex with you, don't give up on the topic just yet! More often than not, you just have not explained the topic to her fully and, more importantly, have not emphasized just how much better lovemaking will be between the two of you. So following are some tips on how you can persuade her to get into 'sacred sex' or 'spiritual sex' with you.

Step 1: Just touch on the topic.

Don't just jump on the topic of Tantric sex, you'll probably scare her off that way, or make her think you've gone a bit loony, or you're simply trying to trick her into doing a sex act she won't like. 

Start the conversation by discussing how you want her to enjoy sex more. Start on this because this is something she can easily relate to at the moment. Tell her that in addition to her experiencing more and better physical pleasure, you will also reach a stage in your relationship where your connection will be at a deeper emotional level. Women LOVE this (and you're not lying when you say it either!) and will definitely be more open to what you have to say next!

Step 2: Start the education process.

Talk about Tanric sex' goals first and not its ways or methods. Tell her that the practice of sacred sexuality is not just about getting an orgasm but about connecting heart, mind, body and spirit. Doesn't she want a deeper connection with you?

Inform her too that Tantric sex is not about 'kinky sex acts'. Tell her that it involves a lot of meditation, use of scented candles and oils, massage, relaxing breathing techniques, and a lot of emotional, mental and physical indulgence.

Step 3: Tell her it's not even THAT big a mystery.

Let her know that rock star Sting and his wife engages in Tantric sex all the time. The actor Woody Harrelson does so too. Mentioning these famous names doesn't mean that she should get into Tantric lovemaking because it's 'in', but because it's not a big mystery anymore as far as other couples are concerned.

Tell her too that Tantra sex touches on yoga. In fact, yoga IS a form of Tantric sex because it focuses on aligning the body with the rest of the universe. If she knows about the principles of yoga, then tell her getting into Tantric sex is not that big a leap anymore!

Step 4: Reassure her that your interest in Tantric sex is NOT because there's something 'wrong' in your relationship now.

A lot of people - men and women alike - don't want to engage in Tantric sex because of the 'why fix something that's not broken' mentality. If you talk to them about getting into sacred sexuality, they think you mean there's something 'wrong' with what you both have currently.

Another reason is that they feel that you're 'moving on' and they're afraid they can't move on or keep up with you. The result? The relationship is being harmed rather than being helped. Knowing these fears will help you prepare a good argument.

Reassure them that you like or love what you have NOW but consider the joys if it could be better! You guys can always stop at anytime but to not have tried at all...? You guys can be missing out on a lot!

Step 5: Suggest a good way to start practicing Tantric sex.

A great way to end the discussion is to suggest (not push!) moving forward into trying Tantric sex. Proceed with mentioning that you came upon an article / e-book / book / website / CD / DVD that talks about Tantric sex and it seems to be the fun answer to what you guys want to achieve. Does she want to take a look at these resources too? Make her part of the decision process and she'll be more inclined to try Tantric sex with you.

You can also suggest that you guys try the ways or methods on her first and see if they are indeed giving her more physical pleasure. The prospect of her sexually benefiting first is also a good way to convince her to try it.

Good luck!

 

By Gabrielle Moore