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By Denise Corlett.
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I recently observed the 2010 Tour de France and made some links between the effort, mindset and skill required of a “Tour” cyclist and those who want to find a partner. Let me summarise 9 points for you to consider.
In order to even get to participate in, as well as reach the end of the tour requires a lot of focus. Single-mindedly aiming for something requires a lot of effort, drive and concentration. On the tour if you don’t have focus, then those moments of inattention could lead to an accident or a competitor getting away from you. Finding a partner means being clear about what you want to achieve and taking the steps and putting the attention on making that happen.
I was amazed at the amount of time and kilometres these guys do on a daily basis. It’s no surprise they are so quick and skilful. I’ve also read various authors and researchers mentioning the “10,000-Hour Rule”. This states that the key to success in any field is a matter of practising a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours. So apply that to different aspects of finding, attracting, approaching and sorting prospective partners then the time that you’ve spent in a relationship. Don’t forget that your technique might need a little adjusting to get the success you want. How long have you actually been practising the techniques?
Professional cyclists like those on the Tour consistently turn up to train and put in the hard yards that get you to the top of your game. Imagine if they trained only when the mood took them. Their results would not be the same as if they consistently trained. Dating and finding and being with a partner requires consistency too. Okay, you can get lucky and bump into someone but I would recommend that you apply the same principle of consistently being open to coming across someone when you’re out, consistently trying different approaches and flirting styles to see which one works for you, consistently getting into conversations and consistently working out who and what is right for you.
Cyclists on the Tour have the opportunity to keep their blinders on and focus or take in some of the incredible scenery along the way. You too have a choice, and of course there will be times when you literally have to put your blinders on to get tasks done. But, if you’re in or near your work environment, a family or friends gathering or sporting activity, you still have a choice to look around at the scenery. You might be pleasantly surprised that there are prospective partners around you that you hadn’t noticed before.
On the Tour there is some stiff competition. You have to constantly observe and watch their tactics and in case they get ahead or get the better of you and your team. What can you learn from your competitors than can give you an advantage when you are dating and trying to find a partner? Rather than envy your competitors, learn from them. What behaviours and results are they getting from their actions? Is there something they’re doing that you could emulate, but in your own style? Take something from your competitors to work in your favour.
Cyclists on the Tour wouldn’t make it to the end without the support of their team. You too, can have more success with the assistance of your own personalised team. Your team could include friends and family, colleagues, dating agencies, internet dating sites, dating coaches, image consultants, fitness trainers and beauty therapists. If you’re not having the success you would like, then look at who you could add to your team.
It always amazed me viewing the cyclists on the tour putting in huge amounts of effort for sustained periods of time with sweat pouring off their faces and chins and how they could possibly keep going. But they did. They wanted to achieve their goal so they were prepared to put up with the sweat and pain. How prepared are you to feel uncomfortable, sweat and work through the pain to potentially achieve your goal?
Sometimes I couldn’t look at the cyclists speeding downhill on narrow mountain passes, with switchbacks and big drops on the side. I was too scared they’d drop off the side, the speed was incredible and the risk enormous. I concluded that practise and confidence in their own abilities enabled them to overcome the fear. For you, there will be your own risks – perhaps to your ego and situations that put you right outside your comfort zone. Unless you are prepared to take risks it will be a challenge to get the success you would love to have. The risks can eventually enable you to get to your desired goal.
Nothing is ever finished until the end. Andy Schleck never gave up on the time trial. He knew he had to work hard on this area to potentially win against his greatest competitor, Alberto Contador. Andy did improve in this area significantly, compared to last year, and potentially he could come back next year and win against Alberto Contador. As with Andy’s desire to win Le Tour de France, you too need to get clear on the areas you could improve on and get extra help, coaching to improve your skills so you can aim to achieve your goals of finding and being with a great partner.
If you’d like to download my new free e-Book “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:
Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz.
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