Dating Do's and Don't's

The problem with the dating game is that there are dating rules to follow and most of them we forget as we grow older. You see, when we are young our fellow friends at school and college reinforce the way things should be done when dealing with potential dates. Yes you should wear that, no you never say that, yes you should do this, but no you never do that. Then we grow up. For a time we are completely aware of the rules of dating and we practice those rules every time we meet someone. But then we meet someone perhaps, fall in love and have a relationship. Little by little the things we learned over our formative years when dealing with the fairer sex are lost and are in fact unlearned.

Then one day we are unwillingly thrust back onto the dating scene only to find that we start behaving like 12 year olds. We call our dates too often, we are constantly available, we wear the wrong clothes, laugh at bad jokes like a fool, date the wrong people and generally get it all badly wrong. Then we get hurt or taken for a ride. Of course there will be some of you reading this that are the very epitome of dating sophistication, but the truth is, when you lose your heart you also lose your head. If you are going to date well then give these key do's and don'ts of dating some serious consideration. Dating rules are very important if you want to win and keep your perfect match.

Dating Rules - Do's

1. Do try to look your best and be punctual on dates

2. Do have fun when dating. I know the subject of Mr. or Miss Right is serious but dating is fun too so keep it that way.

3. Do flatter and compliment your date on the way they look and the things they wear. People tend to go to a lot of effort on a date (hopefully) so being told that you are looking good is a nice thing to hear.

4. Be interested and interesting. As the Pet Shop Boys once said, I was never bored because I was never being boring" or something similar. You get my drift.

5. Do tell someone if you are not interested in dating them again. Being lied to and hopes kept alive is an evil and malicious act (yes I mean it that strongly). If you don't want to see someone again then let them know that in the nicest possible way you can.

6. Do date the type of people you like and are attracted to, whatever your friends may say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way you will meet some nice people too and make some good contacts possibly.

8. Dating is a creative diversion, it requires concentration and energy so when you are dating keep some plans in the forefront of your mind and allow dating to take you to places you always wanted to visit within your own city.

9. Do make dating happen for yourself. People will not come and ring your bell from nowhere. Dating requires positive action so go out there and meet people, as many people as you can. Practice your chat and flirting on shop workers, bar attendants, anywhere and everywhere. Being nice to people is very sexy and great fun.

10. Do surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Think about the girls from Sex and the City and how they assist each other in dating and matters of romance. Negative friends who don't condone the dating scene or don't understand it will only help lower your own expectations and make you feel negative.

Dating Rules - Don't's

1. Never call someone more than once a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability are huge turn offs.

2. Don't date the people who you usually find dump you. You may be generally attracted to bastards but that will not get you anywhere except hurt.

3. For men, never ever be late for a date, even if you have a very good reason. Women should never be kept waiting and should never have to seat themselves - ever.

4. Never tell lies to your date or pretend anything about your life that isn't true. If this is your perfect match for God's sake do not allow it to be ruined by some silly lie told early on.

5. Never be too available. Being available every night of the week and at the end of every whimsical phone call or possible rendezvous means you are making yourself uninteresting and a possible doormat. Be busy, be unavailable generally and be interesting.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the start. People love enigma and mystery. Revealing to your new date your inner most secrets on date number two will quickly ruin everything. A small bit at a time people.

7. Never check other people out when you are with your date. You may think you are subtle , your date will be heading for the door. Have the courtesy of concentrating solely on your date when you are with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety when dating. Have a cellular phone and keep it charged, tell your friends where you are going and be safe. Date at first in well known public places and never ever be pushed into anything you are not happy with.

10. Don't give out personal information like home phone numbers and addresses on a first date. Keep them until you are sure of your date and the future possibilities.

11. Don't have sex on a first date if you ever want to see your new date again. If you like them and are interested in them, sex on a first date will usually ruin everything. Its too much too soon and is not the way of romance. Believe me I am 100% certain on this.

12. Never date a married person. They will not leave their husbands or wives for you (except exceptionally rarely). Married dating is the sure fire way to misery, lies, deceit, lack of self respect and loss of romance. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, don't be a shoulder to cry on, you deserve far better.
By: M.Adam

Published 24th Sep 2008

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