Depression, Reflection and Loneliness
Now some time has gone by, friends think you should be getting on with your life and accepting your loss. However the feelings of melancholy and sad reflection may overtake you and you may feel like isolating yourself and avoiding contact with neighbours or friends. This is an important part of the grieving process and one that well meaning people may try to talk you out of or jolly you around. Encouragement from outsiders during this time is never really helpful as this stage needs to be felt and it is during your times of solitude that an inner peace and acceptance can start taking place.
Realizing the true magnitude of your loss will begin. You may feel real depression which can last days or weeks. Should this last for more than a few weeks you may need to seek medical help to get you through this stage. Sleeplessness and long hours of insomnia can make the quality of life during the day feel stressful. Your doctor can advise if some kind of medication is needed or a herbal remedy to help you get through this could be useful.
You will be remembering times, places and events that you experienced with your lost loved one, memories take on a special significance and you may still feel as though you will never recover from this or feel happy again. You may be experiencing deep despair and emptiness. It is important to keep telling yourself that this will pass. The old saying “time is a great healer” is true although you may not believe this at the time.
Try to repeat some positive affirmations on a regular basis as your mind needs to be reprogrammed now. Remembering that this stage is totally normal and as long as your depression doesn’t get to the point where you simply cannot function in a normal way the periods of isolation you are going through should be looked upon as beneficial in order that you reflect, accept and get ready for the next stage.
For those of you who meditate, you will understand the importance of feeling the inner self. Those of you who have never done this, it may be a good time for you to explore this form of relaxation, maybe take up some yoga or some other form of exercise or go for walks in a tranquil place. Keep it up even though you may not feel like it as exercise will produce essential hormone stimulation which is crucial for rejuvenation of mind and body.
Avoiding people, other family members and friends or being fearful of going out into the wide world should not be practiced for a prolonged period. Remember that each person is different and not everyone experiences the same feeling and emotions for the same length if time or at all in some cases. Believe in your own ability to decide what is best for you and when you are ready, start putting some plans in place for your recovery.
It is important to have something to look forward to in the future and a goal to work towards. If there is a special project you have always wanted to start, start it. If there is a trip you have always wanted to take, start reading the brochures. This is a great time to begin writing especially about memories and reflections. You may find the “inner poet” or writer emerges. Painting is another way of expressing feelings. Taking quiet time for yourself by excluding others is ok.
Take care of yourselves, you are not the only one going through this.
Love Glenda x
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